I watched "Super Size Me" today. It was pretty disgusting. Why, if I hadn't given up fast food in year 10, I would give up now, or more realistically some time shortly after the time I gave up in year 10. The last hamburger I ever ate was a big-mac from McDonalds Hindley Street during the work education trip to centrelink in May 2000.
Last night, sigh. I hate drinking at my own house because I was under the impression that I found it difficult to get drunk there. Because everything's so familiar I don't get as many of the warning signs that I normally do at unfamiliar places. It was either that or all those shots of tequila that I'm blaming last night for. Eitherways I'm pissed off and frankly frustrated by my behaviour. I'm sick of jackassery and missing out on half the events of the night because I was sleeping on a couch or in my car during them. Maybe it's because of my new sleeping pattern or my alcohol tolerance has changed but excuses out of it I'm getting less drunk from now on (for a while).
So God help all your parties you'll have to find someone else to be your entertainment.

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The woman with the fake tan stepped into my office, sat across from my desk and lit a cigarette.
At least, she would, sometime in the next 20 minutes. Smelling the future has advantages, but precision isn’t one of them.

Oh, man, this is a good feeling.
I've spent hours today fixing up the journal. Some stuff I haven't been able to fix, like the css not workin in mozilla, but I've fixed up a few of the bugs, got the calendar working, finally (learnt how to spell calendar, finally). I've taken out the client pull script because while it worked beautifully on my pc using IE, it caused allsorts of problems in Netscape/Mozilla and probably a whole bunch of other shit.
Remember that photos of the month thing I mentioned a month back, that's right. Well, I did that as well. The link to July is here.
Obviously that's the only month that works, but I'm expecting a fair few more photos for August and the rest of the year.
Apart from that today, I had my teeth cleaned for $160. That's right, $160 to have my teeth brushed and flossed for thirty minutes with a whole bunch of stuff in my mouth. Boy am I glad I have private health insurance.
Today, inspired by last night's viewing perhaps, I made cheeseburgers. Awesome fucking cheeseburgers. I'm really getting into this whole "high complexity" cooking shit and the amount of ingredients and techniques I busted out on these babies was awesome. Could have been better though, too rainy to go outside and use the BBQ for grilling.
Yep, I'm feeling pretty good about that calendar, and I'm pretty darn happy it's over now. Time to fall asleep.

Today nothing funny happened but I did buy some sandshoes and a lot of beer.

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What the hell happened to today?

I'll do a 50th day update tommorow because i have to go to sleep now so I can go to comm skills.
Actually, I can't sleep, so fuck Comm Skillz, here is...
Traditional Day 50 Nostalgia Entry!
Now, as precedents go, this usually involves me finding the update from the same date during the previous year and then analysing it, if I missed that day then I'd go back a month and do that day. However this is the first time I've ever had a journal during August, and the closest I came last year was June 9th which was a pretty crappy update with no real material to work with. So instead I'll do day 50 from last years Wintry Journal, which is dangerous, because if I use day 50 next year as well then I'll be left reviewing a review of the year before and it would suck. However, of all 222 days this year so far I've only missed journaling 53 of them, and 11 of those are "no update: x" ones which I could probably expound a bit on during the nostalgia entry anyway but anyway, anyway.

Day 50 Monday June 16th 2003
Today exciting stuff actually did happen, so any 'material' updates will be saved until I can't think of anything else to write:
Exciting Happening Number One: Whilst playing Super International Cricket against myself, I had a draw. India got off to a slow start but still posted 168 for Pakistan to chase. Pakistan then proceeded to get off to a flyer and Ahad got a century on their way to what would seem a strong victory. However, Karpal bowled two very tight overs which left the Paki's with 12 to get off the final over. With two balls left that figure had dropped to 6 to win. On the second to last ball Ahad mistimed his drive and the ball hit his pads, the two batsmen then quickly ran a leg bye. With one ball to go a six was still needed to win. Hammad played an almighty cover drive and it landed two feet within the boundary to go for four. I was shocked, but the game ended in a tie.
Exciting Happening Number Two: I was downloading 'Eple' by Royksopp (The Fatboy Slim Edit) at a steady 4.7kbs. The time remaining on the download, as it came to my attention, was about 10 seconds less than the amount of time before I got disconnected. A nailbiting 15 minutes was had watching the time remaining on the download go down and my elapsed online time creep towards 5:00. Fortunately for me, in the final stretch the download picked up to 4.8kbs and I finished with 40 seconds to spare. To ruin the story, the remix was poor, no where near as good as the shakedown mix of the song, which I listen to currently with enjoyment.

Yeah... when I said "exciting" it might have been a slight exaggeration.
Here's a thought I had a while ago which might make my writing look slightly more profound and, possibly give it some sort of purpose:

The world would be a better place if everyone adhered to the same principles that I think I do.

Hoo boy. You know, it's actually not a coincidence that I played a 10 over game of SNES Cricket today to celebrate this very draw. This time Pakistan opened the batting, and once again Ahad made a century as Pakistan amassed 2/172 from their 10 overs. India got off to a slow reply, Pille made 69 and several others made starts but it looked out of reach when they needed 61 to win from the last three overs. Enter Krishna, who, after Pille got out at the start of the 8th over, slogged 33* from much of the remaining 11 balls to seize victory for India off the last ball. Conclusion, I still play SNES Cricket, a little bit less than I did last year and it's gone through some intense changes. First it changed to the 20over format, which was excellent, then crowd participation dived so the Turbo Cricket format was invented where I tripled the frame rate and played 10 over games which usually took about 4 minutes per innings to complete. Occasionally I go back to the classic 10 over games, like today, and it is enjoyable.
Also the fatboy slim remix of Eple is funky and actually quite good.
Boy have I learnt many things and changed since that day 14 months ago. Probably for the better. That last comment I thought up while I was at a church service. Hah. Like the world would be a better place if we had more Brads.

Update: Nah, at Sam's.

So despite releasing enough snot to fill an olympic sized plastic bucket, I had a pretty good saturday olympic. First we won basketball against a depleted Hawthorn by a large amount. Then I went to Sam's where he had I bonfire, I reamined constitutional and we sat around doing stuff and having a good time.
And every now and again I just think ”I'm so glad I don't have a girlfriend”.
Girls are annoying when you're in a relationship with them, I realise this now. It may be the introvert in me, but after a small while the enjoyment of having someone care about you and wanting to know what you've been up to becomes taxing. Feeling required to communicate with someone is a responsibility I don't care for. Don't get me wrong, women are ok/fine to have conversations with, but there are better things to do like watch sport or play Freecell.
This is why until I find a Brad-like woman who understands this about me I will have personal relationships with women in only two categories:

And, as I'm relatively hopeless at convincing women to get down and dirty with me, combined with the fact that women remain opposed to becoming close friends with me (possibly through fear that I will hopelessly try and convince them to get down and dirty with me, unfounded fear that it is) I feel that I will be spending many more nights in the company of men having a good, relationship-responsibilities free times. Ace, olympic.

Karl was this middle aged, grey bearded, portly, tall painter that was painting a lot of rooms in my house last summer. Because I did jack shit last summer, I would often get up around 2pm and encounter Karl down the hall as I made my way to the shower. He seemed like a quiet guy who was maybe jealous of my sleeping pattern and carefree lifestyle but never said anything mean about it. I told him that I worked nights and so that seemed to satisfy him. I never let him know that I finished work at 11pm though.
Karl used to listen to this little radio he brought with him. He listened to one of the feel good music stations. One day, unbeknownst to Karl I was in the kitchen while he was down the hall painting. On the radio was playing Avril Lavinge's hit song "Complicated". I grimaced in disgust, then listened closely. Karl was singing along. Singing along in a sad little voice. Then the bit where Avril sings "no, no, no" he was singing out of time "no, no, no".
I laughed to myself and went back to doing fuck allery. Later, I told Mum about Karl's hilarious patheticness and she told me that Karl's wife left him a few months earlier and Karl was currently working seventy hours a week because he was lost and didn't know what to do with himself. Now his woeful singing continually haunts me, and I have to try not to cry when I recall him singing to those words "why did things have to get so complicated?". Then I got a copy of the Weird Al Yankovic version: Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated?. It's pretty funny and clever, and now Karl doesn't seem important anymore.

I went to an IT Craplications 2 Lecture today, God help me I done bad.
So I designed this shirt as my big ”fuck you” to fashion.

No Update: Hah, it's Saturday

I was at Craig's last night, the Bulldogs won and I was in bed today until 1pm.
Because nothing interesting's happened today I'll just share with you what I ate today seeing that despite being irrelevant, you are already reading my journal and you'll probably keep reading this entry in the hope of a joke somewhere.
For breakfast I ate a large bowl of seven Weet-Bix, Sports Plus, Muesili and a Banana. I finished that off at around 2:30pm and I was quite full. However, by 5:00 I was hungry again, so I made three hot dogs after discovering that we had no pita bread left to make mini pizzas with. After eating the hot dogs I realised I was again quite full, and after being told to make my own dinner I decided I didn't need it and it wasn't until 11pm that I felt hunger again. So, at around midnight I had a bowl of Weet-Bix crunch. I bought that box on Tuesday night and I finished it off today. It took four bowls. After eating that I was very full, and didn't eat anything else between then and writing this entry, although I did drink four litres of water.
Now this information may seem trite, but for those who feel this entry has been dissapointing I ask you ”how many people in the world know what you ate for breakfast this afternoon?” That's what I thought. Oh yeah. I'm popular on the Internet.
I think I'll make a bumpersticker that says exactly that.

I haven't driven my car since Saturday night. I'm saving so much money on petrol lately. I walked to work and back today. That's pretty much all else I did. I looked at the IT Craplications 2 assignment and figured it would be pretty easy so I went back to playing FreeCell.

It is way to warm to be winter right now. There are little bugs in my room. I used to call these ”Summer Bugs”, but, well, now they're here in winter too.


Well it was my birthday yesterday. Crap. Fuck, shit, darn, crap. I turned 20. Next stop, death.
For whatever reason my thoughts keep turning towards my own mortality. I don't want to die. I really, seriously do not want to die. Up until a year ago I was ok with it but now I really don't.
Up until yesterday I was a teenager. People who recalled with mournful nostalgia about their days of youth were not me. I was still in my childhood. Now the things I've done isn't ”stuff I do as a teenager” it's ”stuff I did as a teenager.” By name, I am older than the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I feel somehow responsible for not doing enough to prevent this change to adulthood. After all I did have two whole decades to prepare, but alas I've done nothing to stop it. Now everything reminds me of my days of yore and I feel like I've wasted some opportunities. Then again, I have so many fond memories that make me depressed that I have to recognise I did a lot of things right during those first years. But I want to do it again. I want to collect all the Tazo's again. I want to come home from school and watch the COPS cartoon and let it inspire me for upgrades to my magnificent Lego town. I want to spend hours playing basketball against myself in the neighbours driveway night after night. I want to play Pokemon cards with the guys who I wont mention here because they'll feel ashamed to have their names associated with Pokemon cards. I want to bounce on the trampoline with my brother for hours pretending that it's a SNES/Sega/Nes/Computer entertainment system combined. I want to go back to reading 15 books a week because I didn't have a computer. I want to watch a new Simpsons episode that's good when I watch it as well as being good five years later when the jokes don't go over my head anymore. I want to play the original Grand Theft Auto again for the first time. And Warcraft 2, and Command & Conquer and Duke3D. I want to go back to hanging out at Timesavers near the skill tester and eating a pie and laughing about stupid shit. I want to go back to playing basketball on Monday nights before I had a job and a car to worry about. I want to spend hours and dollars collecting and organising shiny, worthless basketball cards. I want to go back to ETSA and enjoy those three months again as a child in a man's world. I want to return to the year where I suddenly decided Tuesday night was good now because I would make four slices of vegemite toast and a hot quik and watch Blue Healers followed by the X-Files. I want to go back to the Comm Skills tute and put on a play with Dan that would be better than Mark and Ryans. My precious childhood. Why? WHY? WHY? do we have to grow old?
Is it because I am cursed with such a strong memory and interesting imagination that I feel so strongly about this? Because I remember it all so vividly is why I have problems letting it go? Is it because I find that six hours of university and night fill is about all the adult commitments I can really handle per week and this is my way of avoiding real work?
Sure, I can relive the things I used to do in my own special way. But I don't want to relive them, I want to live them. Being scuttled on whiskey doesn't make you young and waking up with crazy lego bits stuck to your face just isn't the same.
For the last few days before my birthday I was trying to evaluate what my goal in life was. While my time is spent mainly being a student (mainly as in tax purposes mainly) my goal in life, I think, is to be an entertainer. To make people laugh and at the same time avoid doing physical or mental labour. For the past week I've been writing out the script for an episode of BMG, which will have its name changed eventually. I wanted to finish the whole episode before my birthday and say yes, this is my goal. This is soil from which my future will overdramtisedly grow. However, I didn't finish the episode before my birthday, I did 2000 words but I didn't finish it. I did get my Freecell percentage up to 85% though. Maybe that's my goal for life; Play FreeCell? Who knows? Will it matter once I'm dead? I want people to give me attention now and remember me when I'm dead. When I'm dead will it matter if I'm getting attention or whether my FreeCell percentage was 85% or, hypothetically, %15 (hypothetical only). Maybe if I'm famous and dead it will just make dying harder because I'll be dissapointed about being famous while not being alive to enjoy it.
And you know none of this self-involved whining was helped last night where, after returning home from work (where I was given a birthday shout out on the PA while the store was open) I was forced to rummage through my entire room trying to find my NAS from Tax last year and along the way overturned docuements detailing my life stretching years back, which made things even more depressing. Then (while files were still scattered all over my bed) there was a blackout for two hours. And so I had to clean my bed off by watch light then, after I realised the power wasn't coming back on, I had to decide what to do. Going to bed at 1am would be pretty early for me, but there was nothing to do without power at night. Especially bad about going to bed early is that I usually drink a few litres of water after I get home then gradually piss it out until I go to bed at 3 or whatever. In fact, when the lights went out I had to go pretty badly as was. I felt my way to the toilet and, as the situation required, sat down to pee. This wasn't gay. As the rule goes you're allowed to sit down to pee when there's no light, there's a UTI or you're smashed on booze. Sitting down however seemed to be an indication to my bowels that they were good to go as well, and there was a panicked moment when I realised that shitting in the dark was not something I wanted to do with the toilet paper visibility to be considered and toilettalketc. So with that done I step outside to see if the blackout is located within my house or is affecting the neighbours too. I step outside into the unseasonably warm night. [Now, it hadn't rained for about 14 days up until yesterday. August is usually the wettest month of the year, so 14 days without rain is very disturbing, and made my birthday quite bizarre because it was 26 degrees and warm the whole day, giving my birthday a tropical feel which I could appreciate but also was disconcerting.] I stepped into the warm night and walked up the path to the street to confirm that, yes, the street lights were out and the blackout would be going for a while it seemed. My eyes had adjusted by now, and it was very light outside. Disturbingly light. The clouds were all out and they were hued red. I could see pretty far and it was difficult to comprehend that it was 1am smack bang in the middle of the night and it was so light. Also adding to the creepy was the spatters of rain spitting down for the first time in a fortnight. I went back inside, resigned myself to an early night's sleep and soon found myself being woken up by cats screeching at each other a few feet from my window as well as an intense need to urinate. I slashed, scared the cats off then went back to bed. The power then came back on at 2:45am while I was trying to return to sleep, and my monitor came back on and displayed a huge, bright ”No Signal Detected” thing that didn't dissapear automatically and required me to get up again to turn the monitor off. I fell asleep again and woke up at 10:50 with the intention of going to uni. But I didn't, despite having slept for 9 and something hours I felt lethargic and decided to skip, well, everything. I did read the SP lecture while I ate my huge breakfast, and understood it. My birthday ramble is pretty much run out of steam now. I think I'll recap my life over the weekend.

I'm not ready to be an adult, when facing up on Monday night steve wanted a good face up and wanted stuff from the back of the shelf pulled forward. Whoever in the next aisle wasn't putting enough effort into it, and I overheard Steve so ”no, I want it deeper.” And God Help Me I laughed.

Checking my journal today it appears I didn't update it for this day. All that I acheived during it was to make a period joke in front of two girls, one who was deaf and the other who was offended.

It's great when you win basketball on a Saturday afternoon, it just sets the rest of the weekend up to be more fun. That said, after basketball I spent a few hours watching cricket before going to Heath's 21st for a few more hours and then coming back home and watching the rest of the cricket. So it didn't really set the weekend up to be good as much as it, well, we won basketball. I think what I'm trying to say is ”I'm updating on a saturday night! Ha Ha Ha! Sixty Nine!”

”If you say you love the soup when you actually want to puke, then isn't that sign of... ...”
A sign of what? WHAT? WHAT!?
Today was not kosher. I ate a lot of pork, twice, and on this, the sabbath. Also if getting a nice jacket isn't kosher than that makes it even worse.
I discovered the new Freestylers album was released in July and upon seeing it for sale I seized it up quickly and purchased it and it was good.
I invented a drink last night. It's called ”Ultrapunchula”. First it was called ”Fruit”, then ”Fruit Punch”, then ”Ultrapunchula”. A journey which saw its name lose relevance to the drink and become more representative of an Armand Van Helden song title. Being drunk at the time I don't really know a) where ultrafunkula came into the picture and b) if it actually tastes good, but it sure is fruity. And Alex agreed it was good.
As usual, the Brad sized serving of drink is made in a large glass tumbler. Ice is acceptable I suppose.
5 parts Vodka (Citrus Vodka may work and add to the fruityness but there was only Smirnoff available)
2 parts Midori
1 part Malibu
1 part Cointreau
A small amount of tropical fruit juice
A squeeze of lemon juice

Australia beat Pakistan in the cricket last night too, and I ate a lot of cheese.