New Years Eve Jokes
This year my new years resolution is to not make a new years resolution.
The first day back to work today for the suburbanites. I planned to get up, or more realistically stay awake until around 6am. At that time I was going to take a deck chair (probably the one I got for Christmas) and move to the nearby National Park to watch the fat people start their new years resolution jog attempts. It was a good plan, but it was ruined because I had to work and so I slept and didn't go. Also it seemed like the kind of idea that would be better exectuted with company. Maybe a good date idea. Not a first date or a second date, or a sixth date, but one of the other ones. It's always better to revel in other people's humilation with an intimate relation nearby.
Also I think that half the reason we have New Years Eve is so that people can make small talk about something other than "how are you" for a week after New Years Eve, and six weeks before it.
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The woman with the fake tan stepped into my office, sat across from my desk and lit a cigarette.
At least, she would, sometime in the next 20 minutes. Smelling the future has advantages, but precision isn’t one of them.