According to the news one in three Australians are overweight or obese. I would never have believed this if I'd never gone out to Marion on a Thursday night.

It was the first day of Summer and it rained all day. I like where this is going!

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If you met yourself from the future, what would you ask your future self?
What if they wont tell you anything?

Summer is Awesome!

Days where I don't leave my room are the best!

Also today, the female wiener child arrived for her bi-monthly weekend visit and, as usual, brought her entourage of head lice. She has had head lice for so long now the lice themselves must be close to entering a renaissance period.

Also, Gus, I miss your comments :(.

Over the top Sarcasm is the pinnacle of Wit

I know I am really tall. The next time a random stranger comes up to me and says 'wow, you're really tall!' I'm going to look at how far down it is too the ground, do a double-take and yell 'Holy Shit!'

Sam's 21st last night was more often than not an entertaining night. After leaving my camera bag at Tim's 21st last month I finally got it off him yesterday and then left it at Sam's this morning, which is unfortunate because there is a good photo of Sam in there.

Today I drank lemonade and watched Season 3 of the Micallef Pogram. It is a riot. Not a lot of shows crack me up with consistency, but if you think you appreciate my type of humour the following shows are for you: The Micallef P(r)ogram(me) [Aus]; Arrested Development [US]; Peep Show [UK].

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Big and Small

I get an email from my ISP today saying they are upgrading my account from a 15gig cap to a 20gig cap for no extra increase in price, less than a week before I am migrated to ADSL2+. I love Internode.

Then I went to McDonalds and ordered a small orange juice. It cost almost 2 dollars and when I first saw the size of the cup I had a reflex to take it into bathroom and pee in it.


It was very windy today. It made me remember how in the initial designing phase for Bradism I was investigating the feasibility of implementing a weather feed that would record what the temperature and weather had been like that day. This would have helped my nostalgic romps through my journal at times like this where I would read about that Saturday night Chow, Jarrad and I played Snap for around 3 hours and be prompted 'yeah, that night was drizzly with an overnight low of 8 degrees. Ahh, the chilly memories.'

Weather plays an important part of my life, as do the seasons. That's probably why my journals used to operate seasonally. This summer hasn't been too summery yet, just like last summer was. This time last year, however, I was sitting around wishing I was accomplishing more but instead playing Spider Solitaire. This summer so far I've already achieved so much.

The wind blew the wheelie bin over today. That's how I noticed it was windy; because that was the only time I went outside.

Happy Birthday Brother

Steve turned 19 today.
In army, they give you a present on your birthday!
He gets home in a week. It will be awesome!

Short and Sweet

I love Darren Lehman!

All I want for Christmas...

...is a new Christmas gimmick.

2001: Stole Christmas
2002: 'twas the Fight Before Christmas
2003: Eating lots of animals
2004: Eating lots of animals
2005: ...

My car is going to make some mechanics day tommorow.

Things that happened Today

I was very hot this morning and pissed off about several things. I had just submitted myself to sleeping instead of dealing with problems any further when there was a blackout and my fan, the only consistent and reliable source of comfort of the day, died. I was officially in a dark place.

I've been a pretty chill person most of my life and I don't let much stress me because, hey, what's the point? At least that's what I tell everyone else around me who gets stressed while I cruise through my life with my combination of sharp wits and incredible luck.

So, I sucked it up. "It" being a soup spoon of my own medicine (because I always use soup spoons in lieu of regular spoons because you can eat more at once). I woke up today to the rain washing away everything except my extreme sleepiness and caught a train to town and drank an espresso (but possibly not properly because the cafe woman looked at me strangely straight after).

In the end though, today led to this:

  • Car situation in handle
  • First payment for the last two weeks of working
  • 2 Beers
  • 80 filled Sub Club cards. THANK YOU ZOE!!

People used to think It was weird that I liked Dr. Pepper because they said it tastes like medicine. Guess what, life? I love medicine! However, I should probably look into not getting stressed out due to puns...


It's my 400th entry posted on Bradism, so that means it's time for my Traditional Day 50 Nostalgia Entry!

Monday December 13th 2004
Lately I have been trying to improve my mental-social abilities by decreasing the amount I over think and therefore overcomplicate situations. This includes, but isn't limited to, improving my ability to say hello to someone I know when I see them, instead of trying to avoid them. Yeah, I suck at initiating conversations, but every day I make progress.
Today while at Dads house digging a retaining wall I was pushing the wheelbarrow back to the dig site and looking down the hill I saw the neighbour, who I don't know, walking towards his shed. Without thinking, and I mean spontaneously, I lifted my hand and waved at him. Then I quickly faced forward and didn't look for a reaction. But I was friendly to a neighbour! Later I remembered that Dad had been reporting him to the council for noise complaints and stuff and they were effectively mortal enemies but I still felt a little more self-assured.
Thing is, I've always been prone to seriously over-complicate things. I'm constantly mentally arguing with myself and lately its gotten worse and it's starting to get more aggressive. I hope that they can get along soon because it would be a messy divorce for me and I already went through one of those!
I was thinking today, over thinking as usual, and I figured that considering the amount of mental aerobics and fight-dancing that goes on, my brain must be very unique. I wonder if I have a tasty brain.

It's difficult, at least without preparation and research, to determine at what stage you stop doing things. Life moves so fast and I change so often in so many areas that it's sometimes not until I read something I wrote less than a year ago and realise that not so long ago I had a completely different outlook on the world. And yet at the time, it seemed normal. I guess it was pretty normal. I realised after much introspection that I try and live almost every moment as a sitcom. I reduce all situations and interactions into the appropriate clichés, make jokes at every opportunity and hopefully, by the end, learn a lesson.

And in this Sitcom of life, in which I star, the same rules apply to me. This time last year I saw myself as the quiet, socially awkward guy who always spent more time planning what he was going to do than actually doing it. Through sheer fluke I may have stumbled upon one of the moments that led to me shedding that skin. In other ways I still am that socially awkward guy who is trying to work out how he fits into the world. However, these days my social awkwardness is most often caused by my bluntness or monochrome like rationalisation rather than my introversion. I still feel special in a way that I believe my brain seems to possess more complex functionality than most others. Working three years in retail backs this up. I remember I was putting Ajax and some other cleaning chemicals up on loose during a nightfill shift when I originally mulled over my brain’s argumentative fight dancing. So to bring this full circle back into temporal-character comparisons, I don’t work at Woolworths anymore. I don’t spend 15 hours a week inhaling every cleaning fluid in Blackwood and possibly coincidentally my thoughts are less erratic and conflicting...

Yay for Me I guess

2005Semester 2Software Engineering 2Distinction
2005Semester 2Data Mining & Knowledge DiscoveryHigh Distinction
2005Semester 2Informatn Technology PracticeDistinction
2005Semester 2Writing & Designing for WebDistinction


I will probably be drunk tonight and not update so here is some albums I listened to this year that coincidentally were also released this year. They are pretty good!

1. Bloc Party - Silent Alarm
2. Gorillaz - Demon Days
3. Spoon - Gimme Fiction
4. Hot Hot Heat - Elevator
5. Franz Ferdinand - You Could Have it So Much Better
6. Beck - Guero
7. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
8. Kaiser Chiefs - Employment
9. Pendulum - Hold Your Colour
10. Plump DJs - Saturday Night Lotion
11. Röyksopp - The Understanding
12. M.I.A. - Arular
13. Goldfrapp - Supernature
14. Mint Royale - See You In The Morning
15. Audio Bullys - Generation
16. Porcupine Tree - Deadwing
17. Jarrad Payne - Lorem Ipsum
18. Klute - No One's Listening Anymore
19. Caribou - The Milk of Human Kindness
20. M83 - Before the Dawn Heals Us
21. Mike Jones - Who Is Mike Jones?
22. Broken Social Scene - Broken Social Scene
23. The New Pornographers - Twin Cinema


30 Degree nights? Thousands of giant, annoying bugs? Hours of programming? How is this not Summer?

All I want for Christmas...

... is a Christmas Gimmick. Yeah. And also my digital camera cable so that I can document my search for a Christmas gimmick so that I can remember it in a few years. And a new phone would be nice too..

A Piss Goodnight

I was proceeding through my final steps of the day in the smallest room in the house when I spied a cockroach perched on the blinds.

Instantly snapping to attention, I began a quick reconnaissance of available weapons. Limited at the time to that could be reached without leaving the bowl, I settled on the air freshener spray. I grabbed it, aimed and coated the roach in a film of propellant and artic breeze.

It fell off the blind on the window sill and spazzed out a moment, before it seemed to suddenly realise that it hadn't just received a dose of bug spray, but instead just cold, cold deodorant. Upon this epiphany it hopped back onto its feet and trawled along.

So during it's traipse throughout my house over the coming night, it may not be dead but it will at least be spreading through the house a nice aroma. Which is good, because I'm too cheap to regularly buy those plug-in air fresheners for my room.

Also, this is about the sixth time that a day without entry was saved by the bugs I encountered on my trip to the bathroom at bedtime


It's 3:30am and I have been awake since 7:30am after I fell asleep this time yesterday.

Suprisngly, I'm not that tired. Although today has become one of those days that things I did earlier seem to be distant memories.

I went to Marion today and there were parks EVERYWHERE. Take that Christmas!

Things to do Tommorow: Wear Santa hat; drink.

My Christmas Letter to the Internet

Well it is already that time of year again where you say “where has all the time gone?!” At least that is according to this year’s family Christmas letter. But the information in there about me was sketchy and focussed far too much on the rest of my family than it did about me. So, Internet, it’s that time of the year again where I will send out a Christmas letter in the hope that, next year, everyone who received it will send me a copy of theirs and I will accumulate a giant pile of Christmas cards and letters that I can use to try and validate my popularity and rank myself against my neighbours. So screw my family; I’m going to recap the last twelve months with respect to the most important people in my life.

2005 was a good year for Sports Brad and he’s been keeping very active playing lots of basketball, running and working out. Sometimes he played up to four social games of basketball in a week as well as spending time down at the university sports hall with his friends teaching them the art of beating down Asians at sports. He obviously has been taking lessons from Academic Brad who knows a thing or two about that.
In his basketball competitions his teams failed to qualify for finals over summer and finished third, third and second on winter Thursday, Saturday and Sunday leagues respectively. Sports Brad himself has played quite well, although, like all Brads he does not like to spotlight too much on himself and thanks his team-mates constantly for giving him the opportunity to be so damn good without having to pay a forfeit fine at the same time. Brad’s quality was also recognised by people other than himself as he retained the B.R. Ninnis Trophy for Fairest and Most Brilliant Player the second time.
Currently his Summer Thursday night team is undefeated during the mid-season break, although month long plans for new uniforms have not been anywhere near as successful.

Academic Brad’s 2005 also bore good fruit. Starting the third and final year of his easy IT degree he cruised with a distinction minimum throughout the year, graduated with a GPA of 5.69 and was offered a guaranteed position in honours next year. This, of course, was not particularly special as everyone who does IT is guaranteed a position in honours because if they don’t net one or two for the program who will make up stuff to teach next year? To Education Brad’s credit, he also engaged in independent study throughout the year and thankfully taught himself some skills that he can use in the IT industry after his university life comes to his end. Using this expertise he produced his website, Bradism.com, which is painfully shit and not ever read by anyone.

The description of this year given to me by Sex Brad was ‘the best yet’. Technically, an awkward kiss with an assertive cousin notwithstanding, it might also be described as ‘the only yet’, or perhaps more fluently ‘the only one so far’. Sex Brad managed to date several women this year, none of which he met on the internet. ‘Sure’, he admits, ‘that is less than you can count on one hand. But at least your hand’s only being used for counting’. At some point during the year conservative, awkward barriers were broken down and for Sex Brad relations went from ‘frightful’ to ‘hilarious’, or for almost everyone else: ‘over-described’. Hilarious, of course, is the favourite form of entertainment for all Brads.

Employment Brad had a less balanced year than the rest of the family. After spending almost three years at Woolworths he decided to quit, seemingly on a whim possibly inspired by expanding his musical tastes and listening to more indie music. He then spent a month living off government handouts. For a short while, Employment Brad and Academic Brad hooked up and Employment Brad spent the second semester of 2005 demonstrating Computer Programming 1 twice a week which helped him maintain his lifestyle of driving around to places and going to the RSL to drink pints at the price of schooners and play one dollar pool.
After the semester ended, Brad curiously decided to abandon his plans of having ‘one last summer to do nothing’ and submitted an application for a web development contract that he is currently in the midst of and is finding the experience quite rewarding. ‘This is a situation where I’m learning things that will benefit me in the future,’ he confided in me whilst lacking a succinct synonym for “experience”, ‘sorta similar to that whole firing of people from my ITP groupwork team was experience for my project management course next year.’ Well, that wasn’t you, Employment Brad, it was Academic Brad who did that. You’ve ruined the whole gimmick.
Although Employment Brad and Academic Brad’s relationship has drifted apart since the beginning of summer, Employment Brad hopes to rekindle the flame by doing more demonstrating for the university next year. ‘I actually enjoy helping other people learn!’ he explained, ‘it’s truly satisfying. The “two hours of wheelie chairing” aspect is also appealing.’

Introspection Brad has become less narcissistic and reduced his proneness to sharing private thoughts with random strangers. He then later died towards the end of spring.

All the Brads have one thing in common, they’re tall. Today they also have another thing in common and (aside from cheap jokes) they all want to wish you a Merry Christmas and hope you’re safe and well over this holiday period. Merry Christmas, Internet!

Merry Christmas Internet!

IT Professional

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I'm in the majority of people who always marvels at how quickly the time goes. Another year already?! Well, not this year. This year has been really long.

Good Day

Good Cricket. Good Music. Good lamb sandwich with garlic sauce. Hit the spot. Hit the spot next to it.