Time to be less Hygenic

I remember the day when I decided that I needed a toothbrush that
vibrated in my mouth. I thought it might take a little effort to obtain
one, but it eventuated that they were very accesible. You just had to
go to Woolworths and buy one. For months I've enjoyed the service of my
toothbrush but a few weeks ago mine died. Since then I have been
relegated to brushing manually. But finally I said "enough is enough",
I'm strong minded, handsome, well to do! And so I got a new toothbrush.

was a good weekend. I glorified the attending exams not lectures
lifestyle, won basketball and the Bulldogs beat West Coast. I also got
cookies working. Good times.

If you like Bradism, you'll probably enjoy my stories. It's my dream to be a famous author, and you can help support me by previewing one of my books from Amazon below, and purchasing it if you like it.

If you met yourself from the future, what would you ask your future self?
What if they wont tell you anything?

Food and the songs I associate with it

Eating is really good. This year I've learnt a lot about foods and cooking and really I've found that Turkey is pretty much the best meat ever. In fact if I had to select a song that perfectly captured my true feelings for turkey it would be DJ Sammy's 'Heaven', which I sang to about 300g of lunch meat late friday night.

Now, nothing could change what you mean to me.
There's a lot that I could say
But just hold me now,
Cause our love will light the way.

Baby you're all that I want.
When you're lying here in my arms
I'm finding it hard to believe
We're in heaven.

And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart.
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven.

Another food source that's really great are the new 'UP&GO ENERGIZE'. They're like delicious protein shakes that are cheap and fulfil all my health fag needs. I stumbled into Coles tonight and they were on special! While I drank one I crooned:

Wise men say: Only fools rush in,
But I can't help falling in love with you.

Shall I stay - Would it be a sin,
If I can't help falling in love with you?

As a river flows
gently to the sea
(This is where I stopped singing to drink it)
Darling so it goes
Some things were meant to be

Take my hand - Take my whole life too,
For I can't help falling in love with you.

I also think that tinned sweet corn is rocking as well. However singing a camp love song to a tin of corn seems a bit psycho to be honest.

Rest in Peace Ryan

This is my tribute to Ryan. He hasn't posted an entry in over three
months now. Once upon a time he updated daily. He was a good kid.

am going back to uni one day a week starting soon. I was hoping to
offer him the opportunity to just follow me to uni one day a week to
maybe break up his life with some fresh uni moments that he could then
write up in his journal. I really miss him. I really miss having a site
on the internet that often mentioned me.

Today I caught a later
train because I was at work a little longer than normal. It was dark on
the train and I was tired. It was also busy and I was crammed into a 4
with an old couple right in front of me. I kept falling asleep in the
dark and then jerking in spasms as my body tried to keep me in the
realm of reality. The jerking didn't convey that though, it conveyed
"this guys a crack addict".

By about the fifth jerk, I just said to them "It's ok... I'm a crack addict".

would have told that story of severe social awkwardness so much better
than me. And now he's dead. I miss you little buddy. Please click some
ads to raise money for his funeral.

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Monday's Getting Old

Alarm Swear Shower Smoothie Toothpaste Moisturiser Idle Drive Train
Computer Work Coffee Work Dump, Stretch Work Meeting Work Woolworths
Work Lunch Work Train Nutri-Grain Drive Abs Lats Chest Quads Hamstrings
Shoulders Up&Go Shower Flex Dinner Crappy Journal Entry Sleep.

say that Alzheimer's can be caused by having too much routine and not
doing enough lateral thinking. I would believe this but I didn't
understand it until this morning when I drove into the station and
reached over to turn my silent stereo down as I approached the car
park. You've got to keep those synapses sharp. I might try doing some
Sudoku, I have time on the train in the evenings I could probably fit
them in each week quite easily...

Either that or quit binge drinking...

The Last 24 Hours Didn't Happen

Note to self: Investigate correlation between eating giant schnitzels and the distortion of space-time.

only proof I was here today is that the Previous/Next Page links for
stories are now W3C compliant because their accessability now caters
for MORONS!)

The Last 24 Hours Did Happen

This is basically a parody post but to sum the day up anyway I saw that
pelicans have huge mouths during lunch, went to the gym after work and
then had tea with Dad.

I've Old Manned Myself

One improper dismount after doing external shoulder rotations on a back
extension machine is all it's taken me to add 60 years to my life. To
think that 6 hours prior I was walking through Rundle Mall and gazing
at the back of an old man with two walking sticks and I steadily
overtook him, thinking to myself "I'm an advocate of perseverance, but
I'm glad that ain't me yet."

day had earlier started so well. That is after I sat on a wet seat on
the train. But I went to Woolworths and found that they had both
Nutri-Grain bars and Up&Go Energize's on special. I should have
seen the omen, that they only had caramel, as a sign of things to come.

seeing a physio today (who hasn't charged me yet but I have fears of
the expense considering the session included the shaving of my upper
posterior) I have learnt that I'm not even allowed to sit down for 3
days. It's all either lying down or standing up. I average about 45
seconds to transition between. No sitting means that I've had to
elevate all the important peripherals of my pc. As it stands now I feel
more like a DJ than a journalist, and have a strange urge to throw my
hands up in the air when I change tracks on the occasions I use it. On
some advice for my predicament I tried to attract some hot chicks into
my room to ease the boredom of standing by playing Lil' Jon's "Get Low"
but none were forthcoming and the one time I tried to get low it caused
me to spasm in pain. Needless to say, I dread toilet but equally
unfortunate is that it also hurts to fart.

Things I have learnt Since I last sat

Dancing is underrated and I miss it.
Blow drying your hair is awesome and I will miss it when I lose the strapping off my back.
Eating standing up is weird. Eating lying down is horrible.
The meaning of the term 'Pelvic Floor'.

Happy Birthday Cowan

You are my favourite friend who picks his nose, eats it and doesn't care what you think.

Back in Business

I've young manned myself, sort of. I can almost do things like reach
over, pick up things and sit down. Suffice to say the last week has
been quite a shitty one. Pretty much because it has been so harrowingly

took time, but I finally started getting better. This morning I managed
to get out of bed without the aid of any pain medication and I've been
clean all day. This morning in the shower, after taking off my pants
was finally rendered trivial, I triumphantly ripped the strapping on my
back off and dramatically threw it in the trash can as I walked back to
my room. I unfortunately missed and had to spend 20 seconds squatting
down to pick it up again so I could dramatically and more accurately
throw it in the bin again but the intent was there.

I get to go to work tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it for the first time in a while.

And I guess this counts as Procrastination as well...

The problem with essays that have no due date is that it's hard to
effectively procrastinate. It's like having a while loop with no
stopping condition. I guess Lichtenstein owe that much to their FIFA
World Cup 2006 victory in professional mode this evening.

this essay is supposed to be a reflection of what I've learnt in my
time at work. A reflection of what I did during a period of time? By
golly that sounds like a giant journal entry for marks, really!
Unfortunately my bedtime rambling limit seems to stem at around 500
words and so it's been hard to truly pump out 3000 of poignant insight
and self-analysis that finally someone other than me will have to read. This essay should write itself.

even when I broke the essay down into so many sections and sub sections
that to meet the word limit I only needed to write 200 words about
fifteen unique things I do at work, I couldn't finish it. Furthermore
after inserting the notes from my log book, and dot points from my
speech I still can't do it. I guess the problems with essays that write
themselves is they, inevitably, don't end up writing themselves.

have uni tomorrow, I haven't even started yet and I am already up until
early hours of the morning doing assignments. I swear the air is
warmer, I love it!

Coming Home

Oh God. Uni is so good. It's like a sweet, refreshing rain and I am
like some foreign, clueless farmer who has planted crops during the
wrong season and is now realising my horrible fuck up might be
completely erased. So I guess that's joy? 'Joy' is probably more

got up at 9, went to some lectures, played some ball at the gym albeit
crippledly and then went to the Coopers Bar where I didn't actually
drink anything but I could of drunk during the day and then I got home
at 3. Every inch of that campus is dripping with potential.

can't really say anything bad about the whole return, but this quote
was in my ideas pad for potential use in my 'back to uni' entry:

subjects isn't cool anymore? I feel like I'm the dad in a sitcom where
he goes back to college and everything has changed.

Every sunday is turning into a grocery list

- Clean Shaver
- Shopping
- Fitness Circuit
- Bulldogs Game
- Cook a meal
- Iron
- Journal Entry
- Finish photos for potm
- Cut fingernails & Toenails
- Change sheets
- Clean Floor

This is copy/pasted from my Sunday grocery list.
My back's getting better but I still feel old!

Dear July

You are the stupidest month ever. When have you ever done anything
good? Not this year. Not last year. Not the year before. None of those
other years that I remember. Humbug!