I've made a vow to cut swearing out of my vocabulary, following the last weekend, which was completely satisfying. However one of the main things I picked up across each day was how fluidly swearing occurred from everyone I met and how completely illiterate it made them sound. Swearing is so functionally versatile in its use that it is simple to replace vast portions of sentences with a curse. In effect it's murdering the English language at its very core. I know it must seem ironic for me to dismay about a decreasing use of the English language considering I have hardly posted in three weeks, but this is where I am restarting this fledgling publication and I'm not really concerned what you think of the idea.
I'm not fucking swearing anymore, following the last weekend, which was a fucking blast. However one of the main things I picked up each fucking day was how every cunt I met talked complete shit. Swearing is so fucking versatile in its use that it is simple as fuck to replace words or even fucking sentences with a cunt, fuck or shit. It's fucking the English language right up the cunt. I know I must seem a right cunt to give a shit about the fucking up of the English language when I have posted shit all in three weeks, but fuck it. I am restarting this cunt. So fuck you.
Examples from the weekend:
I'm totally 1ed.
I'm completely tired
I've consumed too much alcohol
That 1ing 3 just 1ed 2 up big time!
The drummer just broke his cymbal!
I don't believe you
Chuck me that 3
Can you please pass me my towel?
I'm going to stay in bed for another 15 minutes
2, I dropped the 3 out of this 1ing... thing.
Unfortunately I have dropped the curried portion of my curried egg on the ground.
Note: It is interesting to observe that four days of not swearing I have already begun to lose my ability to swear properly, as evidenced in those poor examples.
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The woman with the fake tan stepped into my office, sat across from my desk and lit a cigarette.
At least, she would, sometime in the next 20 minutes. Smelling the future has advantages, but precision isn’t one of them.