Big Day Out 2008 In Pictures

The Melbourne part of my Big Day Out in pictures is now up!

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If you met yourself from the future, what would you ask your future self?
What if they wont tell you anything?

Tomorrow's Mission

Transport shitty holiday beard to office cubicle (on face).

I last shaved on Wednesday night, although I did trim on Saturday.

Right now I have typical shitty beard, but something inside of me is saying that it might, just might, be passable at work seeing it is business casual and I have seen worse (admittedly on less scrutable people than I).

So, on my return to the office after my Big Week Off I am going to try and smuggle it in. How? Misdirection. I have pressed my finest shirt and polished my shoes. I might even wear a tie tomorrow. No one wears a tie at my work after their first week. I think it's in the New Employee Handbook on the intranet that you should wear suit and tie your whole initial week until you rock up to your first casual Friday; feel like an idiot; and vow to never do your top two buttons up again.

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Mission Report

Well, how many times has it happened? I walk around with five days worth of crappy facial hair and every time I glimpse myself in a mirror or reflective surface I gently reassure myself "man, that kinda-beard looks good. Totally run with it, just a couple more days. It'll come good."

Then, finally, I submit. I shave my chin and it glistens in the bathroom mirror and I have to endure my monologued lecture. "Dude, you looked terrible, clean shaved is so much better. Never forget this." And I don't forget, for a couple of weeks usually.

So there I was again, this morning, with my best shirt ironed and hanging in the bathroom all ready for crap beard diversion. And I was staring at myself in the mirror thinking as usual "Clean shaved is so much better. Never forget this."

BUT this time I wasn't clean shaved. I took the beard with me into the shower and it came out and looked semi-passable when it was shaded darker with moisture. With my heart a flutter I knew it was time. Even when I realised a button on my good shirt was loose, and had to resort to back up ironed shirt I still went through with it, I took crap beard to work and no one even noticed. Here's why.

First, half the office weren't even around. Not even a challenge!

Also, I went downstairs for two coffee breaks so while people on the street thought I was an idiot with a terrible beard, they weren't co-workers who do peer appraisals of me.

Finally, just before lunch a guy was walking out of the lift and someone who probably knew him was nearby, but behind him. When lift guy got out the other guy started yapping like a dog at him, really loudly. It sounded very realistic and scared the shit out of lift guy.
Funniest thing I ever saw. At work. Today. That wasn't my beard.

Why I Love the Sunglass Hut

The Sunglass Hut is a boutique store that has spread like unchecked cancer across the world. There is at least one in every mall and shopping district I've ever been to. However I don't have any problem with a successful franchise, even if their sunglasses seem a bit overpriced. Despite most of the sunglasses on display costing more than what I traded my car in for last year, there is still a lot to like about the Sunglass Hut:

Their primary awesomeness is that they seem to always be staffed by attractive, young girls in tight or revealing clothing. This is even in the middle of winter. Something about all those downlights in a tightly packed store creates an artificial, spring warmth that keeps long sleeves to a minimum.

But they don't just look good, you're also able to get your sunglasses cleaned for free at any Sunglass Hut just by asking. This policy technically applies only to sunglasses purchased there, but as long as you walk in looking confident the girls will screw tight and wipe down just about anything. This saves money on buying sunglass cleaner and a cloth, assuming you live or work close to one. And I work close to two, both down Rundle Mall. And I don't need much convincing to walk down Rundle Mall with a pair of sunglasses...

But Sunglass Hut babes have another redeeming quality, their booksmarts... or lack thereof. After losing my sunglasses at the Big Day Out and not being able to even collect up the pieces to cradle in my arms and sob, I needed a replacement. Yesterday I visited one and picked out a pair I liked for $150. That seemed exorberant, and I did know that if you signed up for the Sunglass Hut VIP mailing list you got a $50 gift voucher in exchange for an email address to send spam to. I asked for the discount without the details, but they declined. I asked them to hold and said I'd return with the voucher on Thursday.

At first, that evening on the internet, I despaired. Upon closer examination of the voucher I realised that the discount only started kicking in after reaching a minimum spend of $150. Seeing that was the exact price of my sunglasses it was useless. So when I returned today to collect my sunglasses I showed them the voucher and asked what similar pairs they had closer to $200, because I do love using a coupon if it meant a chance to upgrade.

Fortunately for me the blonde on duty that day furrowed her brow at the coupons wording, glanced at the $150 pricetag on my potential eyewear and said "Yes, it says minimum spend is $150 and these cost $150 so you get the discount."

"So how much are they, all up?" I asked.
"$100, silly!" and she giggled.

"Pay cash." My inner monologue screamed. "Pay cash and get out now."

That bargain left me feeling pretty :cool:... This cool, in fact...

Extremely Wanky Pose...

Extremely Wanky Pose...

Clubbing Sober Quarterly Review

Smoking Ban successful and in full effect.
Lights now 12% darker to recapture original level of blurriness and fumbly pick ups.
All songs mentioning hands being put or placed up should not be played.

Bums are Lazy

I saw one begging today but instead of dancing around a little in front of the plate of money he was just sleeping on the sidewalk about a metre away.

No work ethic whatsoever.

Another Dreary Day at the Office

But what's this in the internal mail? A blurry envelope from Chow? What could be inside? More LEGO?!

But what's this in the internal mail? A blurry envelope from Chow? What could be inside? More LEGO?!

An interesting shaped package. Awesome, I was afraid it might be some sort of work.

An interesting shaped package. Awesome, I was afraid it might be some sort of work.

It IS a tuna! And some bubble wrap that Chow will probably have to fudge away on a a spreadsheet to make sure a certain government department doesn't lose any of their budget next year.

It IS a tuna! And some bubble wrap that Chow will probably have to fudge away on a a spreadsheet to make sure a certain government department doesn't lose any of their budget next year.

For a short while my new Seeded Mustard tuna joined his new family. Then I got hungry and ate it.

For a short while my new Seeded Mustard tuna joined his new family. Then I got hungry and ate it.

Dreary... or Exciting! You decide.

My Explosive Entry

My District Basketball Career:

23 and a half years ago I was born and the doctor said "Ma'am, it's a boy, and he looks like he has mad hops."

16 years ago I played my first game of basketball in a team, for my Primary School. We were terrible and there was a lot of infighting about who would get to shoot the charity goal when the other team didn't play defense so we could at least score.

About 14 years ago I was getting better at basketball and playing for schools and churches. I desperately wanted to play junior district, but apparently we couldn't afford it.

Then, 12 years ago at a Basketball clinic at primary school they organised this guy to come:

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I don't remember who he was, but I will always remember he said to me "believe in yourself, never give up, you can achieve your goals."
I think he was doing some sort of community service, possibly related to bribing some stripper.

6 years ago my little brother, who always gets the things I never got when I was growing up, got to play District. I was jealous.

4 and 3 years ago I went back to back winning the Best and Most Valuable Player for the D Grade Men in the Church of Christ Basketball league. But I couldn't afford to play district.

18 months ago I could afford to play district basketball! But I ruptured my spinal disc and couldn't bend over to tie my shoelaces up.

4 months ago my physio announced I was able to try and play competitive basketball and I started training with a district team.

1 week ago I got my uniform and the time and location for the first game I would play. Wednesday 13th of February. 7:20pm. Wayville Basketball centre.

6 hours ago I was wearing that uniform and preparing to leave in my laidback but kind of nervous way.

5 hours and 30 minutes ago my computer exploded in a blinding flash of green light and then a lot of smoke. It went PIEW PSHSHSHSKSKSHS and then it went silent and the whole house lost power. It was very scary.

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Happy Valentine's Day, internet. I Love you all. Today and in the near future you can enjoy my gift to you, a short and sassy Valentine's Day mix by me. I did it specifically for you, yes, you. Feel special, dance a little, call me.

Get Love Here

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Spread Love.

How My Life has Changed in 12 Months

Last February I saw Jacob Oram crossing North Terrace near the Adelaide Casino but I did not wave and say hello because I thought it would be embarrassing for the both of us.

Today while I sat at Mekong Thai I saw Ishant Sharma walking down the street and I called out to him "you bowl really well!" which I thought would convey my appreciation of his entertaining bowling without sounding too personal or bogan. But he just gestured dismissively and ignored me.

Makes me wish I hadn't ignored my first instinct to yell as he passed by "HE'S SUCH A SHARMA OH NO".

Charmer Sharma

District Basketball ain't that Hard

I scored points tonight by accident, not even trying.
The other 7 I got I did have to work a fair bit harder for though. I guess you can't accidentally tip the ball in when defending yourself during a rebound for all your points.

More than double my last weeks points, I guess not having a computer explode is much better preparation.


What's this? After two years of running Google Ads on my site I finally got a cheque in the mail. All it took was yelling "Click Ads" at people and clicking ads whenever I checked my website at other people's houses to get to this stage, this beautiful stage. One HUNDRED American Dollars:

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In the last 2 years my hosting and domain registration has cost $118 Australian dollars. Which means that all the effort I've put in over the years has led to profit. PROFIT! Sweet Internet Profit! You have to ignore the thousands of man hours but I'm in the black!!

Until I spent my profit on American Soft Drink:

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It was worth it.

Good work to everyone involved. Good work internet.

Only $98.85 worth of clicks until I get paid again. See you again in 2010 Dr. Pepper...

Laneway Stream of Consciousness

I'm sweaty from plodding at pace from the train station very early on a Sunday Morning. Almost 48 hours earlier I was plodding in the opposite direction to leave for work on Friday. Thus ends my very long stay in the city for work on Friday. Here are some thoughts on Laneway now.

Okkervil were boss as, best set of the day.

CYHSY sounded great as well, like their albums but more three dimensional. Played most of their self titled, few songs (yankee go, satan said dance) from the second album. Didn't like the second album but they made it sound great live.

Feist - I love Feist. She's multi-talented: great voice and can shred to start with. She also walks with a little spunk and you know that if she's getting it and he's good she'd be making a lot of noise. Didn't play mushaboom.

Gotye probably wont do the same shit in other cities, but he did his one man show with loads of samples and him percussioning everything he could. He is a very good drummer. He played a highly enjoyable mash/remix of A distinctive sound and MC Hammer's "Can't Touch This". Also played the Fourth Floor Collapse version of Worn Out on the piano. Didn't play Heartsamess (omg. i didn't mind).

Presets were loud and I think played the same set they did on Friday night.

Broken Social Scene played a lot of self titled and some Spirit If. Played Shorelines with Feist and a few guys from Stars on the horns - that was well good. Last song they asked the crowd "we have one song left, do you want to hear Ibi dreams of pavement or Backed Out?" and everyone went "duuhhh what?" I was yelling out "PAVEMENT! PAVEMENT! Is J Mascis here? No, then pavement!" Then they played Backed Out... Sadness.

Panics - almost fell asleep a few times. Not that I don't like them I was just really tired.

Stars were much better than I thought they would be. I've never really been fanatical about their music, more just enjoyed it in the background. But they put on an energetic and very polished performance. It helps you realise how this bands get popular before they release albums compared to bands that are produced the shit out of and get popular after their albums. Good work Stars. The lead singer chick was either hungover or jetlagged (or both), but still put on a flawless performance. Professional!

My only gripe was the timetable got raped. Fortunately I was at the one stage the whole time. While the small stage kept to timetable pretty well the mainstage set up time was between 25-50 minutes (I'm looking at you Feist). Seeing as only 20 and 25 were prescribed, the Presets started an hour after they were supposed to finish. A lot of waiting around was to be had. Adelaide stage set up did seem a bit cramped though, so I don't know if it will reocurr. Most of the time seemed to be spent doing sound checks.

Poetry Corner

To make up for 36 hours of drunken meat-heading this weekend please reflect on this poetry by Robert Frost. It is called The Road Not Taken.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.


Two fat women trying to get off the lift at the same time. Beautiful. Thanks Monday.

Happy Half Birthday to me!

Today marked the sixth month anniversary since my last birthday and therefore the sixth month point before my next one. To celebrate this occasion I got gifts!

First thing I got at work was a message to visit reception. Up there, waiting for me wrapped in plastic, was my new chair. Finally, after two years of being in this office there was a chair that I could fit in. I wheeled it to the elevator and enjoyed sitting all day.

A few hours later I received another email from reception announcing another package for me. It was my new MP3 player I ordered for $24 off the internet a week ago. I wanted it because my iRiver and massive headphones don't mix well with gym and riding a bike for half an hour is boring.
I plugged the little thing in and started transferring my BULKTEMBER folder of mainly amped up hip-hop, angry sounding electronic industrial and any house/dance/latin-funk that had girls or boys singing "Pump it up!" anywhere. First thing I noticed was that the MP3 player came with Aqua's Barbie Girl on there as a free sample. I left it on in the hope I can squeeze out a mad bench to it.

Finally tonight I went to see Interpol at the Thebarton Theatre and they played out the last few hours of my half-birthday. They were great.

February Best New Music Round-Up Tomorrow

It's good. Who's looking forward to it? I bet you are. You all love it.

Leave a comment telling me what colour socks you're wearing today.

Farewell Summer

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Nothing has convinced me that 2008 is going to be a good year for music more than the releases coming out over the last few days. Most I didn't have a chance to fully digest before tonight, but of what I've heard this week and this month there continues to be a lot to like about 2008. As usual you can listen and then if you wish burn this as a mix CD by clicking here. Reading the reviews is optional.

1. These New Puritans – Elvis
British bands rise to the surface these days like amoebas dividing and reproducing. It’s easy to tell where the majority of the genetic material came from for These New Puritans, a heavily plugged band last year called The Klaxons. Elvis has a similar but catchy, speedy bassline and dancefloor-cymbal work. It also follows up with rocking guitars riffs and there’s the same British voice that sounds like it’s singing about things you’re not smart enough to fully understand. If you liked the Klaxons you’re likely to enjoy These New Puritans, though they’re a little heavier and don’t seem quite like the band to cover any 1999 house anthems just yet.

2. Ghostland Observatory – Heavy Heart
A lot of electronic music sounds very technical, but Ghostland Observatory performs their drum-heavy synth rock with power and soul. The result is beeps and synthesised rhythms colliding at high speed with organic, funky bass and passionate, over dramatic singing. Heavy Heart begins with dominant, pulsing energy before front man Aaron Behrens brings it home with that mournful soul over pulsing electric church organ chords. It’s like channel surfing virtual reality between stadium rock and the dancefloor.Continue Reading Best New Music - February 2008...