I'm not a kid anymore

I woke up and found this on the kitchen bench this morning and the first thing I thought was "that looks delicious"

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The woman with the fake tan stepped into my office, sat across from my desk and lit a cigarette.
At least, she would, sometime in the next 20 minutes. Smelling the future has advantages, but precision isn’t one of them.


I'm definitely allergic to waking up early.

I'm Popular From the Internet

Last night for lack of anything better to do I found myself at the Marion Friday Night bar scene, and while there encountered a few socially outlying tumbleweeds.

Because, it is awfully quiet down there on a Friday night. At just past midnight I was surprised that anyone could even be that drunk that they'd be kicked out of a bar. Yet, to quench my disbelief I watched while we waited for a ride to come as a generic looking white boy was denied entry to the pool hall. Our eyes followed as he sat dejectedly on the wooden picnic tables outside and tried to light a cigarette.

Conversation returned internal for a moment before our attention was fondled again by a slurry voice.
We all turned to look at him, he continued to look at me. "Brad?" He said.

And so my mind raced. Who was this person, and how did he know me? And then I realised, perhaps... perhaps my little journal had grown to such size that I was now recognised on the street by regular people. Drunk people, sure, but they were maybe but one of the many demographics who use the internet and, therefore, knew who I was! This was how celebrities felt! Identified on the street, their names shrieked or hollered! Demands for attention interjecting their routine conversations.

I patted my pockets, but I had no pen for an autograph.
"What's your name?" I asked. "I can't give you an autograph but maybe I can give you something better!"
In my head this very entry was being drafted and structured by neurological nanites.

"Brad..." he drawled. "...I know... your brother."

"Next time." I thought to myself, as he tried a few times to put the cigarette between his lips. "Next time..."

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Now Taking Questions

Having been lazy over much of the past week I haven't come online and got all personal in my web journal. Without effort it's hard to come up with things to write about that I think other people would like to read.

So, I am now breaking for questions, tea and biscuits. And to make this seem more efforty I have set up a gmail account for you to send any questions about me and my life you'd like answered. I will answer them over the coming week in entries. That address is: question.bradism@gmail.com

You can email anonymously so that I approach all questions objectively. http://www.sendanonymousemail.net is a good anonymous email thingy.

If no one emails me any questions I will pretend people did and answer questions I make up.

Health Tips

Do you have any good health tips today? I love hearing every day about health tips

Yes. Pink Lady apples $3.43 a kilo at Woolworths this week starting today. That's like 40% off. Best Monday in a long time!

Tall Tales

How tall are you really?

Good question.

Somewhere between giraffe and fridge.

Somewhere between giraffe and fridge.


This week I'm answering anonymous reader questions. You can email question.bradism@gmail.com to ask your questions. You can email anonymously from sendanonymousemail.net.

i was wondering Brad, what is your ultimate colour of dunlop volley?

My ultimate colour of Dunlop Volley is pretty much irrelevant, because like most companies Dunlop Footwear does not feel justified producing size 16 shoes. And nothing pisses me off more than climbing down my beanstalk to go shoe shopping and finding out that sand brown Dunlop Volleys only go up to a size 13.

Toilet Questions

What ply toilet paper do you use? I usually go for the 3 ply, the added safety of multiple layers without the thickness of a 4 ply.

Ah, toilet discussion. Seeing I'm 23 now and have just hung a shirt up ready for my day in the office tomorrow this is perhaps a subject I avoid broaching. Then again, I'm also a boy and thus find fascination with the shape, size and colour of pretty much everything that comes out of my body. And with that attempt to qualify this entry as highbrow now failed I shall now confess. I use primarily 1 ply toilet paper. But this isn't by choice, it's because I'm Scotish and do all my poos while on the clock at work. And because where I work is Scottish we only get 1 ply toilet paper.

But, because I don't pay for it, I usually use two sheets of 1 ply equaling 2 ply all up.

Do y..

Yes I fold.

Dear Diary

Well, I feel like sharing this with the internet. It's about Mario Galaxy on Wii. I've been playing it a bit recently and aside from one entry about it's influence on the meaning of life it's gone a bit underrated. That's probably because I did underrate it. I mean it was fun and all, but I couldn't tell if I was getting all the stars and solving all the puzzles because it was infectiously fun or if that was just my OCDish tendencies peeking through.

I've read a few reviews of the game and they've all raved about it, but I never really saw why Galaxy was essential gaming. Until tonight when I tackled The Sinking Lava Spire in the Melty Molten Galaxy and experienced the perfect blend of platform gaming, clock beating, puzzle solving and breathtaking, cutesy graphics that tickled my fancy so much that I felt compelled to immediately journal this feeling.

I recommend this game.

The Third Bradism.com Quiz Night

Went pretty well

Went pretty well

Life in the 80s

For work, I carry a pager around with me all the time. It's not the primary reason I get paid but it's pretty important. So I was kinda nervous when I couldn't find it anywhere after I got back from basketball today and it wasn't in my bag.

I asked a few people if they'd seen it, and they said "no, have you tried paging it?"

Great News, Chow!

It's been a year! Which is pretty much forever. I can eat schnitzel again!


Today was one of those days which seem to be really long because they're broken up into many separate chunks. I like these days. I go to bed with a sense of accomplishment even though I lived the same amount of hours. But each of those hours are divided into different contexts.

But.. I worked my 8 hours today? How could I possibly have fit so much into a day with a one event/eight hour handicap?

Well, first, I made my breakfast smoothie on Sunday night, left it in the blender in the fridge outside and instead of spending six minutes preparing it this morning I spent just 30 seconds mixing it. This was freaking awesome. It didn't taste quite as good as it does fresh, but the sweet taste of five minutes extra sleep every day will more than make up for that.

However the true secret to my day's achievements was through breaking up the work day by scheduling meetings. Lots of meetings. And they were good meetings today! First, at 11AM, I met with my old PM who had offered a new opportunity to work in an Applications role again. This made me excited. I will be thrust into the testing sphere (exactly as sexual as it sounds) where I can apply my uni education (use cases, so much Visio-ing) and then hopefully engulf a .NET developing opportunity.

Then at 1PM I met with Dad for lunch and to make use of soon to expire Entertainment Book vouchers. There we discussed opportunities and the IT Industry in general terms and I ate a half decent kangaroo fillet.

At 3:15PM I had another meeting with my current PM about me transitioning into the new role. Which he has been really cool in helping me get to. And he also bought me a coffee.

After that there was no more meetings planned and the rest of the afternoon was spent at my Level 9 vantage point watching a hopefully not symbolic thunderstorm descend onto the city from the sea. After work I emerged to the dark city streets and ran through the rain to my surprise next meeting - Johnno on the train. We chatted about life and Supermild and music. I got off at my station and drove to the gym, smashing down a Mother as I swept past rain. More smashing of exercises was done and then home. Here I have written a new review for Rip It Up, busted out a 2005esque journal entry and now I'm about to fall asleep watching cricket.

Every Silver Lining has a Dark Cloud

I have to say that after a few taps on the steering wheel of life to point me in new directions yesterday, coupled with binging on the first ten months of 2005 entries before bed last night, I was feeling good today.

2005 was a fantastic year. I was fit and healthy and though I was dealt a good serve of challenges I took them all in my stride, grew a little and had a lot of fun. So when I went about life today I tried to inhale a little bit of that 2005 spirit into the things I did. I aimed to be more personal, and less insecure. I intended to write more and be more confident! I felt charged, like this was a turning point.

Before tonight was up I decided to pick up reading where I left off last night - November 2005 - and to do that I clicked the archive link for 2007 and was about to reduce the year argument a couple of digits when the first post grabbed my attention. And as I read through the month I realised that the same feelings, the same intentions of confidence, direction and extroversion I was having today I was writing about having last six months ago.

And then when I did get to November 2005 I realised the same thing had happened again. I was more skittish and unsure about my future then than I thought that year. And in 2005 as the summer sun first came out I was making the same vows and self-evaluations. It became clear to me that every year I seem to cycle from - to steal a life experience from a baby turtle - shell to the great wide sea. Only to every year wake up and find myself digging out of the sand again. So I had an epiphany but it seemed so useless now.

But, the difference is, this year I'm getting my groove back way before Summer.

In the Zone

It's really difficult playing basketball against people who look like TV show characters. Tonight I was playing some defense and posting up on me was Dective Batista. This was off putting. I didn't want to foul him because if I did anything wrong he might arrest me, but I couldn't get angry about this because I felt sorry for him and I wanted to ask if he'd got his daughter back.

I was also self confident enough to convince myself to shoot three 3s, one of which went in.

Show Me

As my man Pos from De La Soul once rapped "Sometimes the body needs to feel stress to appreciate the joy". I heard this thesmorning in my car as I crawled along South rd listening to my Happy Hip Hop Mixtape. It was about 8:15 AM and I was for some reason already dressed and on my way to work! That reason was team breakfast, something I begrudgingly accepted to attend at 8:30 in the morning because the team is pretty cool and, hey, free breakfast!
What I didn't expect, having spent the last year catching the 8:50 train and enjoying the freedom of working 9ish to 5ish is that by God the roads are busy at 8am. I naively believed that, after I missed the train because of the traffic jam leading to the station, I would be able to cruise to work because I was up so early the streets should be deserted. Instead it took me almost an hour to drive and arrive at 8:45am whereas when I leave at 8:45am I get to town at ten past nine!

So, considering my morning was waking up early plus an hour of creeping in traffic all while being grumpily hungry, I should have been pissed. But, I wasn't, because while listening to my Happy Hip Hop mixtape all the way through, twice, I realised it was days like today that made me appreciate all the other days I have where I get to work with no hassle. Anyway, that's what cut a smile across my face today.

From: Rejected

They say people have pets that look similar to them. So you must have a really hot dog.