House Parties

I woke up this morning like I was in the first second of an ad for Spray and Wipe.
Today was spent mainly cleaning.
I have two lunch boxes full of sausages I'm going to turn into an epic curry tomorrow.

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The woman with the fake tan stepped into my office, sat across from my desk and lit a cigarette.
At least, she would, sometime in the next 20 minutes. Smelling the future has advantages, but precision isn’t one of them.

I've been writing a lot of brain entries in my head lately. These are like journal entries written in my brain instead of on the internet.
I only really like writing trivial or melodramatic entries and while I write many in my head it's hard to find time to turn them into casual prose. The things I deal with instead at the moment aren't life threatening or anything, more what you'd have to define as "growing up". Lame.

Obviously I'm so journalisticly unfit at the moment as well that I also get mentally puffed just walking to the starting line. You can't expect to eat a dozen weet bix for breakfast straight off the bat. You need a few bite sized, facebook update style journal entries to get started.
I'm going to do them all at once.

I went to an appointment at SportsMed to see a new ortho about my knee and in the waiting room I went "ooh, they have chairs specifically for tall people. They do like athletes here."
Turns out the chairs were for people on crutches.

I saw a want ad for Nightfill staff at Bunnings. Was very tempted. In a mid-life crisis movie plot kind of way.

My real job has been relocated to the suburbs, right after I moved to within walking distance of my city building. Now instead of walking to work I have to drive and on that drive I will see my old work out the window as I cross over a bridge. If I get asked in a job interview why I left my old job I'll tell them they took the jobs out of Adelaide. I won't hint that they went 10 minutes down the road.

New work building looks like a prison.

On Friday I found $10 on the ground at work. It reminded me of this quote, which made me laugh another few dollars worth.
G.O.B.: I'm making a magic video. I'm going to tape myself doing tricks around the office. I'm calling it Tricks... let me finish... Around the Office. I figured out a way to make money while I'm working!
Michael: That is what we call working.

There were way more but when you don't write them down things of these importance tend to leave you.

I wonder how this move is going to affect Dale.

Oh The Hills

I had to drive through four fixed speed cameras to get to work today. I don't speed much anymore. I can't remember why I ever used to, but after my second speeding fine back in 04 I realised it wasn't worth it. Actually I think I continued to speed for years after that, until I moved to the plains where there are speed cameras everywhere.

Peak hour traffic, speed cameras and parking stress me. In the hills you could always find a park. And you could read books on the train instead of sitting in traffic.

Pros for new work location: There's a reserve with a river out the back; there's fake sugar in the coffee stations so I don't have to steal packets from cafes; the desk ergonomics are actually pretty good.

Cons for new work location: The park with a river out the back is much smaller than the one at my old work; the microwaves to people ratio is much lower; the window is so far away I can't even tell if it's raining or not; the toilets are too bright to nap in; there's no paper towel in the toilets so you have to use a hand drier; the hand driers are "Bradley" brand yet they MOCK me with the instruction "please rotate hands while drying." Fuck you Bradley hand drier!

There's more but I think I'm on a tangent. I had another wrist appointment today where they did some strength/movement tests then asked me some survey questions. The answers were: Able, With difficulty, With Assistance, Impossible.

Question 1: I can use my back pocket

Question 2: I can wipe myself after going to the bathroom?
That's question 2? I don't use that hand

Question 2b: But if you did use that hand?
*slowly mimics the action to test wrist ability*
... able?

Who is going to answer "with assistance" to that question?!

Question 3: I can comb my hair?
At this point the reverse cycle kicks in, giving a slight tousle to my long, unkempt locks.

Question 4: I can carry a shopping bag weighing 5 to 7 kilograms?
Why wasn't that question 2? Who ordered these questions!?

I'm having another operation on October 30 to remove the surgical button in and on my ulna and to snap through some of the scar tissue to - fingers crossed (able) - return most of my lost movement.

The scar tissue manipulation is where one surgeon holds my unconscious arm down firmly while the other twists it round like he's cracking firewood. I asked my therapist about the details last week. He explained it with an anecdote about how cool and loud it is.

Today the surgeon asked if I knew what the operation entailed and when I said yes she looked a little disapointed that I knew what she got to do.

Writing is good.

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R.I.P. Lunch

At 11:30am today I made the horrible realisation that I'd left my lunch at home. This included my thing of yogurt and my post-lunch Pepsi Max. This would have to happen today - at my new suburban location - where the only alternative to bringing your own food is eating at the cafeteria.

Optimistic, I used Google Maps to do a quick aerial survey of the area, and I spotted a Coles supermarket a few kilometres away. It too much of a trek to do return in my lunch break, but when the time arrived I decided to walkabout anyway. Being Australian.

It took me about 10 minutes to find my way out of the prison facility because I went out the backdoor and ran into locked gates and barbed wire fencing. Soon enough though I found myself in suburban streets, peering about hopefully for a Sumo Salad that got lost between arterial roads. Then I got excited because after a few minutes walk down the street I saw a big IGA sign poking up through the trees.

My pace quickened, but as I got closer I realised it was a factory and not a supermarket.

I still went inside and a receptionist pre-empted me by saying "this is a distribution centre".

I asked if they had a supermarket section, and they said "No."

I asked if I could just browse a little and they said "please leave, you're in a restricted area."

So I walked a little further down the street and I saw a big sign that said Foodland.

This resulted in a very familiar experience.

Then I found a building with a "Drake Supermarkets" logo on it and I detected a pattern.

A short while after I was in a cafeteria sadly watching the rain and eating some pork meatballs with vegetables. That was the only meal that said "Healthy Choice" and I figured if that was the healthy choice I didn't want to risk anything else.

I wish I had made it to the supermarket. I was going to buy a healthy food pyramid lunch. You know when you see those posters that say "Eat Healthy" and shows a wooden table laden with bread rolls and loaves and fruit and vegetables and eggs and cheese and milk and honey. Like that.

I wasn't going to eat like everything in just one day, but I was going to buy random things and just eat different parts of the pyramid for a while. And maybe announce where on the pyramid it was before I ate it.

When I got home I ate my slightly warm thing of yogurt.


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And this is where my weekend ended. That is 1601 pieces of Lego scattered on my table. I first saw the set online in the summer of 2008 when I identified it as the perfect centrepiece for my Lego adorned work desk. I'm actually pretty glad I didn't get it back then, after spending two hours putting together just the one house so far. And that was with Vanessa's help. I think it would have taken me a lot of lunch breaks; it's incredibly detailed. After two hours of Lego construction I noticed everything else around me seemed quite miniature as well.

This weekend was generally pretty productive, and involved lots of dressing up. I went as a Panda to a masquerade ball on Friday night. I looked like a bank robber. Saturday I got dressed up in suits in preparation for Andy's wedding. I also made progress coding things, wrote record reviews, built Lego house and took a pretty nice picture of it.

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And about thirty minutes ago I had a big drink of milk so now I am primed for sleep. I hope all this sunny productivity continues this week.

Sunlight = Optimism

I was watching NBA Greatest Games today. It probably means I'll have the basketball dream again tonight. The one where I'm with my friends and they ask me to play basketball with them because they need someone to fill in. I protest because my wrist isn't ready yet, but they convince me and I play and I'm healed and it works just like it used to. Sometimes it's not my friends, once it was the 36ers.

The game on today was 1997 Western Conference Finals between the Jazz and Houston. Five epic superstars on one court. In particular I loved watching Hakeem Olajuwon and his one handed post skills. I also related to John Stockton and his ability to work the ball into the hands of his team-mates through tight spaces. In all the basketball I've been watching and never playing lately I've come to the realisation that passing is just as good as shooting. When I come back I'd really like to be a combination of Hakeem and Stockton. That is, a tall in the post who draws the entire defenses attention and then dishes out an assist. Not a little white guy who can't shoot 3s.

Super-Expert Pain

My iliotibial band is possibly possessed by Satan. I've seen a physio, podiatrist, GP, orthopedic surgeon, and now super-expert physio. If his stretches don't work I'm finding a priest.