There's a point when you're getting rained on where you go from annoyed to accepting. This happened to me at least literally today. After no rain for two months I was predictably exposed and just starting to walk down South Road when it started pouring. I used to love walking home in the rain, back in high school before this whole drought thing. Unfortunately a walk in the rain can just be added to the end of the list of fun things I can't do because of my wrist. A car even slowed down to yell out a window "You're not supposed to get that cast wet!" before speeding off through a puddle. Thanks for the support.
I still enjoyed it though, and my fiberglassed elbow eventually dried out. Waterproof earphones are pretty awesome.

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The woman with the fake tan stepped into my office, sat across from my desk and lit a cigarette.
At least, she would, sometime in the next 20 minutes. Smelling the future has advantages, but precision isn’t one of them.


My wrist and its forbidding of sports, running, weightlifting and most other male stress release activities has been depressing me no end lately. But I am haunted by two maybe-jinxes from my past.
The first is that my constantly narrating brain used to do this piece about how as long as I kept my mental faculties I’d always remain happy. Theoretically I could be a head in a jar and as long as I had an audience, or at least an internet connection I'd be peaches. I stopped feeling this way a few years ago when I got less fat and discovered the absolute joys of being fit and strong. But I still thought it! I may have been drunk.

Second, when I used to spend hours shooting baskets introvertedly in my driveway one of the things I would for some reason do is shoot one handed 3s. I always mused that if anything horrific were to occur I would still be qualified for handicapped basketball leagues where I could continue my reign as a tall, uncoordinated looking big man who'd inevitably spend half the game trying to shoot threes. This video from three years ago shows that, although it's shithouse now, my left wrist was once pretty awesome.

Better than Chow's anyway.

I Still Believe in this Site

So I'm obviously making an effort to post more lately. But let's face it; I can say it but words are cheap, and on the internet all but a useless commodity. Still I want to prove I firmly believe in and to do that I present the official T-shirt:
Continue Reading T-Shirts Available Now!...

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I think I've had about 15 legitimate readers visit since the last entry.
I don't have much to add today. I'm about to stuff a sock around the perimeter of my cast so that I can ride an exercise bike for half an hour without my elbow being drenched in shoulder sweat.

Anyway, I'd like any opinions people have on what I can include in future entries. I've done things like Photos of the month, music of the month, health fag recipes that I've always published in big chunks which upon reflection I don't think has worked that well for both being read or being written.

So comment - anonymously if you like - what kind of material you'd like to see squeezed in between my entries of narcissistic warbling.

Choices Include:
- Photos with "cute" comments
- New music with MP3 downloads
- Health fag tips
- Short fiction
- Thoughts I have while visiting supermarkets
- Angus wallpapers

George Kapiniaris: Rockstar

Last night I realised one of my longtime dreams - seeing George Kapiniaris live. This wasn't exactly one of my most unattainable dreams. It was just a matter of buying a ticket and, the hardest part, finding someone to go with. See most people have this fear that a George Kapiniaris show is going to be like an hour long RAA Insurance ad, but they're so wrong! It's more like two hours! And with much more profanity. So goood.
George Kapiniaris: Rockstar continues at The Cavern Club until Sat Mar 21.


Public Holidays are good when your greatest achievement is setting a new high score on the crab hitting game

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and you still don't feel like you wasted any of the day.

9 Paddle Pops 'til Winter

At one stage before Australia day my freezer contained almost 50 Paddle Pops. For weeks they were grazed until the heatwave made them staples. Since then the supply has dwindled and today I opened the last box. Sure, it's still sunny and the long range forecasts of rain always seem to remain.. long range, but I can't ignore it. It will be ANZAC day soon, it will start raining and for six months I'll forget what Paddle Pops taste like.
Next time I go shopping I'm checking for multibuy specials on soup.

MP3s For Your Weekend

So I was thinking if I posted best new music in more bite-size chunks people might find it easier. Also when I don’t try and stretch it to 15 songs I think the quality’s a little better.


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For a healthy young adult, 150 beats per minute is about the target heart rate you want to maintain when exercising. It’s also coincidentally the BPM of Phoenix’s new track 1901 and that’s appropriate because it absolutely pulses. The French indie-pop rockers have always had plenty of electronic influence – their guitarist was in Daft Punk before they were Daft Punk – but this new work sounds like they’ve taken in a sip of the Justice led wave of punky electro that emerged around the time they finished recording 2006’s It's Never Been Like That. But unlike so many other purveyors of the style they still remain oozing with Versailles class. And all of a sudden I have a new most anticipated album for 2009.

Phoenix – 1901 (from the forthcoming Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix LP out May 26)

Phoenix – Second to None (from 2006’s It's Never Been Like That)

Great Lake Swimmers

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So Great Lake Swimmers are one of the most unabashed folk bands I’ve ever heard. They sound like perfect Georgian or South Carolinian instrumentalists, but moved north into the even more laidback and wild Canada. They have a sound that suits the wild, great clean rivers full of carp fished by men in flannel with beards. But Pulling On A Line also has its Chutes too Narrow-esque indie-popness making it as catchy as it is rustic.

Great Lake Swimmers – Pulling on a Line (from the forthcoming Lost Channels LP out March 31)

The Antlers

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This Brooklyn three piece tap into a raw part of human emotion when it comes to their songwriting. Even the lyrics of Two sounds lonely despite being surrounded by swirls of feedback and lo-fi distortion. It’s one of many epic, emotive tracks on their LP Hospice. It starts with a simple acoustic chord progression before sucking you in.

The Antlers – Two (from the Hospice LP available free online at

Why It Sucks Being Tall #978

I don't understand why restrooms at some places have low roofs, and then make you step up to stand at the urinal. There is something deeply tiring about peeing with your head crooked 75 degrees to the side.
Also, I do like how some restrooms have those wall mounted air-freshener sprays that automatically shoot off every 300 seconds. What I don't appreciate is when they're stuck "high up" above the urinal. Which for me isn't so much "high up" as it is "eye level". It's like an Indiana Jones temple-ruins trap I have to deal with; wait for it to spray.. then quickly run up and pee before the clock runs out and I leave the toilet with my hair containing the unremovable stench of Mountain Lilies.


For me every day is full of Bradism, and you hear about it all the time. But what if I was less unique. What if other people's lives had Bradism too? What if people were more like me? People like...

wavy lines wavy lines wavy lines

..The Exercise Bike Repairman
I woke up this morning to U2's Beautiful Day and I was kind of optimistic for just this brief moment. I thought maybe it might be a sign that I wasn't in for another Tuesday like every other Tuesday. One where my two engineering degrees would lead me to more challenges than "should I ask them if I can use their toilet? Or will I get this flywheel replaced in time to make it to Subway and use the bathroom there?"
The second place I visited today was the weirdest; it was a bike that was only two weeks old so I knew that it probably wouldn't smell of month-old fat housewife sweat. I mean, it might have fat housewife sweat on it but at least it would be fresh. When I got there this guy with his arm in a cast came to the door shirtless and I could hear Big Country playing! And it wasn't In A Big Country either, it was Harvest Home! I didn't realise Australians even knew they had more than one single.
This guy was pretty antsy about his new bike having a broken pedal after two weeks, but he went quieter when I told him he reverse-threaded it. No idea what someone in an arm cast can do with an exercise bike anyway. After that it didn't take long, I had it fixed before he got up to Porrohman. Then I went to Subway and got a turkey, olives and jalapenos on a foot long honey oat.

..The Hire-A-Gardener
I expect the same kind of jobs when I go to little duplex estates in the western suburbs: tiny plots of grass to mow; most of the time spent edging; ignore the "herb" garden. I felt my suspicions wouldn't be far off as I walked up to a door today, hearing the muffled rap of Lil Jon and the Eastside Boyz coming from the other side. Upon it being opened, however, things changed. First thing I noticed was the sweatiest dude I have ever seen wearing tight as bike shorts and a plastic garbage bag around his arm. The second thing I noticed was Lil Jon was rapping over Dire Straits.
However, I'm not one to judge and the garden was kind of nice to work in. He tried to talk me down on price (why do people always do this?) and then after his impotent bartering came ineffective he agreed anyway and I started trimming a hedge while Ice Cube rapped over the main riff of King Missile's Detachable Penis. Then some rapper I don't think I know started yet another rap about weed over an electrified version of the Legend of Zelda theme. Despite all this kind of music there wasn't even an ashtray around the back porch let alone any plants. Unfortunate, he might have had something to barter with.

..My Neighbour
Work was messed today. I had planned to go to the gym after but by the time I got out of the summary summary meeting (yes, my team has so many summary meetings that we now need a summary summary meeting) it was late and I couldn't be arsed. When does Daylight Savings end? I dunno. While my dinner microwaved I figured I had enough time to do some chin ups in the shed. On my way out I saw over the fence into the loud-music-neighbours kitchen and saw the most ironic thing: one of them locked in an ongoing struggle to find the strength to pull the lid off their bucket of protein powder. The fact he had an arm cast and was trying to do it one handed made it even more amusing. Also, I think he was going to mix it with milk.
For reference, you should mix WPI with water, not milk. The complex protein in the milk makes your body absorb the concentrated protein in the powder less efficiently meaning you get less protein in the crucial recovery window, thus less gains.


I got my camera out today to maybe take some shots for a phocumentary when I discovered I had over 100 photos on there from the Big Day Out. Of all of them, this was clearly the best.

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This photo is 700 pixels wide. I bought a new widescreen monitor, if you don't own one yet then get with it! This way I don't go blinder from using my TV as a monitor.

OK, also, there were some other good photos on there, mainly of me eating a variety of Calippos.

Making it a Habit

So this feature I'll aim to get published early Friday morning so that "weekend" can stretch into "Friday's in the office" too.
And in case you were unaware, you can download all the songs with right click->save as.

The Boy Least Likely To

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The Boy Least Likely To are more than just cute indie-pop, they're cute, English countryside indie-pop. Originating from a little market town in Buckinghamshire, which is the kind of place you'd sit around in drinking tea and coming with Postman Pat episodes ideas. However don't confuse their childlike melodies as simple because there is considerable orchestration as well as rural influence in everything they do. It's a sound that is words like "charming" and "joyful", though the new LP The Law Of The Playground is quite darker than their 2005 debut. Well if you can classify anything loaded with banjos, glockenspiels, recorders and fiddles "dark".

The Boy Least Likely To - When Life Gives Me Lemons I Make Lemonade (from the The Law Of The Playground LP available now)

The Boy Least Likely To - I See Spiders When I Close My Eyes (from 2005's The Best Party Ever)


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Metric have claims to being based in Montreal, New York City and Toronto, so if you like indie rock that has to sound promising. Help I'm Alive is the first single from their fourth album due next month and it's currently riding a wave of airplay on Canadian radio probably because it's quite catchy. With female vocals from Emily Haines plus another Broken Social Scene'r James Shaw on guitar it's kind of a blend between BSS and Garbage.

Metric – Help I'm Alive (from the forthcoming Fantasies LP out April 7)

Two Fingers

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First, if you're not going to listen to Two Fingers at high volume there's probably not much point. The reason for this is finger one, Amon Tobin, the legendary Brazilian who's created monster blends of IDM, breaks, jungle and jazz so consistently in the past. The second finger, UK DnB producer Doubleclick, adds grime and fury and western stability to Tobin's South American and Eastern influences. Together they've put together quite a handy eponymous debut, also featuring so much of London rapper Sway they could have possibly called it Three Fingers.. Or perhaps he's the webbing..

Two Fingers feat. Sway - That Girl (from the forthcoming Two Fingers LP out March 30)

Accomplishments II

It was a good weekend. I may not have beaten the crabs this time but I got a PB on this, and scored Great Bonkin! nonetheless.

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On the weekend I bought a pretty heavy looking book called C# 3.0 Unleashed, containing within it over 1000 pages of C# learning material. I was hoping I would find it easier to digest than some of the many e-books I'd downloaded but was struggling to read with distractions being only a click away.

It seems to have paid off because now, after three days of installing updates; configuring Visual Studio 2008, SQL Server 2008 and IIS 7.0; and countless reboot after reboot I finally Hello Worlded an ASP.Net page. This made me happy because I made learning C# into one of my downtime goals before I returned to work and I achieved this milestone on the eve of my resumption.

As an aside, 40% of my time in the months leading up to my surgery I was actually paid to be a C# Analyst on a big system and I deployed a few changes into production in that time. This has led to several occasions of me being seen reading the book and then saying aloud "Oh... so that's what I did.."

But, it is good to be learning something exciting again. I mean, nerdy, but still exciting. And unlike most of my other serendipitous job posting I was actually supposed to be trained in this by work until they cut all training budgets.

Other than that nothing else much happened today, except I ubbbed a lot of cookies.

MP3s For Your Weekend


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Norwegian production duo Röyksopp launched their third album Junior with the first single Happy Up Here a few weeks ago. It's a punchy reminder of their best work, being catchy mainly for its chirpy Eple-like melody but also driven in the guts by the firmer, Scandinavian techno edge that influenced their first two LPs, especially 2005's The Understanding. Also featuring vocals from Robyn, Lykke Li and return performances by Karin Dreijer Andersson and Anneli Drecker, Junior has the perfect, crisp synths to extract the last of Summer fun before the days get gloomy.

Röyksopp - Happy Up Here (from the Junior LP available now)

Röyksopp - 49 Percent (from 2005's The Understanding)

The Long Lost

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A much more appropriate album for the coming cool is the mellow folktronic debut of The Long Lost, a side project of Ninja Tune's Daedelus and his wife. Their self titled record was launched with a Sunday afternoon tea-party in a dusty museum arboretum among a display of carnivorous plants. That's the kind of freaky trip this album is. Completely chilled, it's made to slow down your heart and mess with your mind. As heard when the melancholy pianos and strings of half-lullaby Siren Song subtly blend into a relaxing air-raid warning. Then there's Colour, a simple bass line and melody with lyrics that could be some children's book or potentially something much more lucid.

The Long Lost - Colour (from the The Long Lost LP available now)

Franz Ferdinand

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Franz Ferdinand's third album Tonight came out at the start of the year, but with the its second single No You Girls coming out soon - and already gaining popularity as the new iPod touch song - I thought it deserved revisiting. Because for an album four years in the making it doesn't have the same immediate satisfaction that earlier albums did. However, I've found it a rewarding album to explore and rich in details. Most of its songs were built in extended sessions and ultimately cut down from much longer versions, and one of the cool tricks they used when experimenting was recording in different rooms of the big church they inhabited to get different sounds, then pasting together songs from the different areas. This is probably best shown by example on What She Came For, a catchy single with a dirty synth that takes up a lot of open space before descending into the final chorus and almost metal rock out, recorded in the cramped basement with drums, amps and guitars all crowded into close proximity underground. They're not likely to stop playing Take Me Out any show soon, but this is evidence of an exciting maturation.

Franz Ferdinand - What She Came For (from the Tonight: LP available now)

Half Centuries

This is my 950th entry, and they've definitely been coming out sludgy since the 900th which was exactly 200 days ago. Only one entry every four days, or alternatively, only 50 entries since I destroyed my wrist. Now admittedly I do discuss that appendage a lot lately but today give me reprieve, I'm excited! I think my cast comes off tomorrow. Well it definitely comes off, hopefully I don't need to have a new one put on.

Today also, through nothing but serendipity, marks 50 days since I last had any alcohol. This is noteworthy because there is just an innumerable variety of activities that become so much less trivial with one less hand and over the course of a day they really compound until they manifest into the form of drink-need. Assuming someone will open a bottle for you..

Stretching your left quad with only your right hand is one of my proudest new skills. It means reaching behind your back to grab your left ankle and then finding the talent to maintain balance on just one leg - with the constant threat of toppling onto your tender forearm - not just momentarily but for the count of 50.

But my days and sobriety haven't been entirely wasted. In seven weeks I've taken 50 Glucosamine tablets. In the past seven days I've eaten 50 cookies that Vanessa baked for me. I wouldn't be able to total the support and caring she's given me since I got hurt. And that's despite my white cast turning noticeably yellow over six weeks, due to me continually riding the exercise bike until sweat drips out my elbow. She has even ignored the biology lesson that humans shed their skin like snakes which becomes obvious when you can't scrub parts of your hand. That's assuming it takes snakes weeks to shed a single layer of skin.

So in the next 24 hours I will be celebrating more than 950 entries. I will also be celebrating having an elbow again, and being on the road to recovery if things go right. And celebrating having an awesome girlfriend. But, I think I'll deserve a drink.

Arm Smegma

I have like 3 days to tan before it rains.