Looking Back

I hired a three tonne truck today to move my furniture. All you need to hire a truck, apparently, is a driver's licence and enough cash to cover the deposit. I was given they keys and shown to the driver's cabin.
"Have you ever driven a truck before?" She asked me.
"Yes," I said confidently, thinking back to my weeks behind the wheel of the white suburban.

And that's the story of how I reversed a three tonne truck into a tree and gently scratched the side mirror.

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If you met yourself from the future, what would you ask your future self?
What if they wont tell you anything?


The timing of my current house changeover hasn't been great. (Note to self, next time start packing and purging more than a week before relocating). But one thing I couldn't have controlled was the outbreak of COVID19 Coronavirus and the subsequent international frenzy to mass purchase toilet paper and tinned food during the same weeks I was trying to deplete my pantry in preparation for moving.
Luckily I've been panic buying hand sanitizer in bulk every few months for the past ten years. But not TP.

That's how, despite visiting the supermarket six times over the past few days, I've found myself in my new house with only a couple of toilet rolls to my name. Now was not a good time to be bulking. Every sit down visit to the toilet bowl takes me a few squares closer to the end.

I had no idea what I was going to do when the day arrived and my hand found only cardboard.
Then I recalled - as I'm routinely reminded over the past six years - I've been living with an expert butthole cleaner this whole time.

image 2043 from bradism.com

For Me

This isn't panic buying. Despite what they thought at the supermarket. This is a normal amount of yoghurt for me.

image 2044 from bradism.com

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Thursday Night Hoops

My Dirk Notwizki top is, among other differences, a darker blue than the rest of the singlets worn by the other members of the C grade social basketball team I've been filling in for over the summer. At half time in our last game the senior referee told me that for the rest of the season I wouldn't be able to wear it anymore. In response I Dirk'd a corner 3 during the second half - my first triple of the season - and we went on to lose narrowly.

It turned out that referee was right, and I would not be able to wear my Nowitzki singlet again in the summer of 2020 thanks to a global pandemic. Right when I'd got my eye in.

0 Beans

If there was a silver lining to this Coronavirus thing it was that the rest of society was going to adapt my personal level of hand sanitizer usage.

Unfortunately during my latest visit to the supermarket I learnt that the rest of society was also going to adapt my personal level of tinned 4 Bean Mix usage.

The Fourth Bean

Day 1 of the non-essentials shutdown due to COVID19. Unfortunately I did not panic buy more than a few salads in advance, and I'm already out of 4 Bean Mix. Vanessa did pick up some Woolworths Mexican Style 3 Bean Mix, and in what I'm sure will not be the last of these entries for 2020 I experimented in the kitchen.

Mexican Style 3 Bean Mix is no substitute for 4 Bean Mix. Something is missing, and it's not chickpeas because there was 75g of that in the hummus. Because it was Mexican Style I tried adding some pickled jalapenos in case they could be the fourth bean, but it was not to be.

image 2045 from bradism.com

Later, after a small amount of yard work on the house I'm going to try and sell during this global crisis, I bought a medium chocolate thickshake for the first time in twenty years in case McDonald's close in Australia like they did in the UK.


I came into a very desolate city today to work from the office, as I had two appointments in town along with a number of minor tasks that needed doing before the inevitable lockdown commences. It was also maybe my last chance in 2020 to wear a polo.

Between those minor tasks I decided to visit my favourite coffee place for a final medium flat white before society collapses.

Instead of the usual queue of caffeine addicts with Keep Cups out the door it was just me and the owner in the 8 square metre store and so instead of the brief hello we typically shared we had time to discuss Coronavirus and the impact to traders and the peculiar flavour of 2020 so far. The topic of working from home came up while he was frothing my milk, and he asked if I'd heard about the 5G problem, about which I assumed he meant the lack of federal investment into a reasonable fibre network for Australia would lead to excessive congestion on the wireless networks while everyone was in isolation.

No, he clarified that the 5G problem was that there would soon be antennas on every block on every street and the government was able to use the 5G frequencies to give people cancer and control their minds.

This was devestating to hear. I thought there were enough problems this year, and now I have to add to the list finding a new favourite coffee shop.

Like Riding A Bike

I went for my first bike ride of the millennium today. I felt nervous, but was pretty awesome. Riding a bike has all the advantages of walking, but twice as fast.

Never Been a Better Time to Sell

image 2046 from bradism.com

Sprawling over 3 levels this magnificent townhouse boasts a wonderful standard of living for self isolating through a global pandemic.

The mid level comprises 3 bedrooms, all with the convenience of built in wardrobes for storing extra toilet paper, and the master suite features a designer ensuite and private Juliet balcony that's well over 1.5 metres up from passers by on the street.

image 2047 from bradism.com

Loaded with extras including reverse cycle air-conditioning, security alarm, garage with auto roller door & direct internal access. A gated front courtyard slows the progress of the infected, and with Fibre to the Premise - connected by Ethernet to every room - there's no better place to work remotely or binge Netflix and wait out the collapse of society, while still being in the delivery zone of the cosmopolitan and increasingly popular Woodville Road for all your dining options.

The real wow factor of this home is the spacious family living on the upper floor. This sun drenched area is generous in proportions, perfect for gatherings of up to two people. A stylish kitchen features both intercom and dumbwaiter to receive deliveries and takeout without going downstairs. The open plan living area effortly flows out to the huge entertainers balcony that provides 180 degree views, and a perfect sniping position for targeting looters and attackers (or tipping burning oil in a pinch).

image 2048 from bradism.com

Some of Adelaide's best kept and most pristine beaches are just moments away, so if the burning city is visible through the floor-to-ceiling south-facing windows you can easily escape to the water and surrender your home and your dreams to the frenzied undead as you flee across the waves into another glorious western sunset.

Enquire now to schedule a private appointment, or register for an upcoming open home inspection via Zoom.