Away From Home

Recently I've been washing my mouth with Listerine after a giant bottle of it appeared in our bathroom. Last night - as I spat a shot of alcohol, saliva and blue colouring into the sink - I thought to myself "You know I really don't mind the taste of Listerine." This immediately led me to think "You know, I would do alright as a hobo."

I'm not saying being a hobo is easy, but I've observed enough in my life to realise that, if I was to lose everything, I would do better than average at being one. I've walked around the cities and suburbs of Australia enough to note a few life hacks for the homeless, hobo-hacks if you will:

First, move to Adelaide where you can return empty containers to depots to make money. Also the cost of living there is lower than any other mainland capital city!
Camp on the River Torrens, and instead of searching the city of bottles and cans instead hit up the streets of Mile End and Hindmarsh on recycling days to earn the days wage.
Spend money on Listerine, and use it for intoxication. Do this during the day rather than at night, so that I can wake up early while the other hobos are still asleep and be first to claim the new day's bottles.
Once a week, barbecue a swan for dinner.

I'm still working out the best way to combine being a hobo with cooking bulk meals.