How's That?

For almost four years I've tried to convince Vanessa that cricket is an entertaining sport to watch. She is proving hard to sway. Lucky for me she went out tonight and I had an evening to myself to enjoy the limited overs clash between Australia and Sri Lanka.

Cricket is not traditionally a sport which delivers instant gratification. I see cricket more like an excellent novel, rather than blockbuster movie. By saying that I don't mean that each test match is like a novel. A test match is like a chapter. I might even go as far as to say that an entire tour or series is just a chapter in the novel which is cricket.

Much like literature, cricket is full of characters that develop over time. Characters does not necessarily refer to their personalities, because who really knows what goes on in a lot of their heads (in the case of Mitchell Johnson I would say "not much".) Sadly to say that, as with the rest of humanity, the majority of them are probably dickheads. The characteristics I'm talking about are, for some examples: Glen McGrath's perfection of line and length over his career combined with his approach to batting at number 11. Michael Bevan's successes (and failures) in high pressure run chases. Steve Waugh scoring "Fuck You" centuries everytime it looked like he was close to being stood down, followed later by Ricky Ponting's "Fuck You" centuries anytime a team dared to make him look out of form. Gilchrist's reinvention of the wicket-keeper batsmen. These are just some examples, all Australian. There are eight international teams full of their own characters. Plus perennial underdog teams with their own stories. Nasser Hussain, Dan Vettori, Shane Bond, Murali, Damien Martyn, Lara, Dravid, Afridi, Sehwag, Graeme Smith and Ashwell Prince. Some careers developed, twist and turn, seem to die and then pop up five years later - just like real novels. In each new chapter new characters are introduced and regularly characters new and old are killed off. Epic battles are fought. Captains go head to head, the winner's tactics are fascinating, the loser forced to improve or be killed off and become a commentator.

Cricket's not just two dozen intertwined storylines at a time. Sometimes Tait will sling an unplayable inswinging yorker and the sight of a cart-wheeling stump will be instantly gratifying, sometimes Lehmann will loft a cover drive straight into the Adelaide Oval fence and you'll think "yeah, that's nice." Sometimes Inzamam Ul-Haq will try and get back into his crease and cartwheel his plump body over the stumps and that's funny. Those things are great. Cricket's about more than that though, it's about a whole world to escape to. Sure, just like a novel there are going to be periods equivalent to the author doing nothing but describing scenery for pages, but invest enough time and you'll see what makes cricket one of the world's greatest sports.

I've decided this explanation for how superb cricket is surely convincing. However I'm still having issues working out how to clarify all these points for Vanessa. Everytime I think I've worked out a way to outline the benefits of cricket and how entertaining it is if you watch enough of it, another voice in my head says to me "but Brad, this might be the reason why you think it's a good idea to write novels about working in an office."