Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

It was haircut-expert Tim who taught me this year that you should time your haircuts two weeks before major life events. My haircuts last me about seven weeks each, and I've found myself now measuring 2019 in haircuts, despite not having many major events to coordinate with.
I visited my barber this week, which means it's only one more haircut between now and my holiday. How exciting!

Yeah, I do worry that I'm now dividing my life up into non-standard intervals such as haircuts and Olympics, like some amiable Tudor. I do avoid using the same hairdresser more than three times in one life. It takes me like a year to get through a single bottle of shampoo. I put my rubbish and recycling in a dumbwaiter. But according to my shampoo I'm still

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