An Entry From the Land Before I go to Bed

Having spent a lot of nights in recent times being drunk and doing stupid things I approached tonights cocktail party with a sense of trepidation. Trepidation was then processed into journalistic opportunity as I realised that the obscurity of each drink I would consume to much would allow me to benchmark exactly how alcohol affects my body and its desires.

Drink 1:

I wanted my cocktail drinking image to be one of extreme class, but also one of extreme homosexuality. The mirage delivered.

Drink 2:

The Mojito was next. It was easy to drink. It reminded me of a time I was running through the garden and fell into a bush - I think it might of been a repressed memory. Coincidently I think that happened when I was drunk.

Drink 3:

The Jelly Bean was my favourite drink of the night. It met requirements in the camp stakes as well as the upper-class image stakes. It's the kind of drink you see kids drinking at their 8pm board meetings on Tuesdays. In the background is Angus drinking his attempt at the same drink. His version was later renamed "Shameful Gus version 2".

Drink 4:

This White Russian is photographed with bonus cocktail-party-effort-attempt jacket in mirror. Also a butterfly.

Drink 5:

This was at the stage where Chow had stopped making me drinks and I just had another White Russian. This one has a parasol though.

Drink 6:

This is a Traffic Light. Chow was back but he'd gotten rusty. There was supposed to be a green, yellow, red layering in the glass and then, later on, in my stomach. Unfortunately substituting Galliano for Banana Liquer only resulted in this traffic light being set to 'Don't Go'.

Drink 7:

This is a Jaffa. It has some orange stuff in it. I think it's orange.

Drink 8:

This is a Screaming Orgasm. I only drank the front one. I also at the strawberry.

The Results
Drinking affects the mind and body in different ways. This experiment has taught me that it is after 6 drinks that I begin to think that an Up&Go should be consumed soon.

Massive Props to Chow for bartending duties!

Drink 9: