If you like Bradism, you'll probably enjoy my stories. You can click a cover below and support me by buying one of my books from Amazon.

The woman with the fake tan stepped into my office, sat across from my desk and lit a cigarette.
At least, she would, sometime in the next 20 minutes. Smelling the future has advantages, but precision isn’t one of them.


Nash Visits The Hills

Nash has been working extremely hard lately, and last week was the busiest yet. She worked close to fifty hours, and when Nash saw on the internet that the weather for this week featured some clear and sunny days Nash knew it was the perfect time to take a day off work in lieu and visit the Adelaide Hills and the German town of Hahndorf for, reasons...

Nash was very excited not to be sitting in front of a computer all day:

X


After a long car ride we went for a walk around a lake:

X


The sun was out and it was not cold.

X


X


During Autumn in Hahndorf you can point your camera in basically any direction and take a nice autumn photo:

X


But Nash knows that's not the reason we came to Hahndorf.

X


When the sun was out and the colours of the trees contrasted against it, things looked beautiful.

X


Nash was not in Hahndorf for beautiful skies though.

X


If you walked far enough there were tunnels of leaves and trees to admire.

X


But that is seriously not why Nash wanted to come and visit Hahndorf.

X


Is drinking a half litre of beer at midday on a weekday a good reason for visiting Hahndorf? Maybe...

X


But this is why Nash really wanted to visit Hahndorf.

X

Creaking in the Wind

18-37: If you want to get stronger you need to keep increasing the weight. Otherwise your body will just be really good at squatting 50kg.

37 onwards: How good would it be to be able to squat 50kg...


Not getting enough emails? Want to receive updates and publishing news in your inbox? Sign up to the bradism mailing list. You'll also receive an ebook, free!


Fluffy

The only guaranteed way to give Nash a good brushing is to wait for her to fall asleep. Because she lies in a nook this means you can only brush one side, leaving her smooth and slinky on one half of the butt, and matted and frizzy on the other. The effect of this is when you let her loose in the dog park the next day is a lot of sideways movement and if the conditions are right, some reverse swing.

One (Year) Down

I feel compelled to complete the One (x) Down theme I started to track my shoulder surgery recovery process which started on May 19, 2021 and has only ramped up since then.

Sometimes when I go for a walk in the last light after sunset after doing eight plus hours of computering I reflect on the last year and all the stretching and rehab and medical bills I endured. And I think to myself, damn, I really did throw away a huge chunk of my life and time and energy to not achieve anything. I'm still in pain, and I can't shoot a basketball, but now I can't lie on my right side either. I need a minimum of four pillows to sleep comfortably. This is how my spiral into death will be measured, in cushions. One night in my late eighties sixties forties I'll be propped up against some pillows in a hospital bed with an extra pillow under my knees, another one padding my spine, two supporting the weight of my arms, and a well-meaning nurse will put just one more small neck cushion behind my head and I'll literally cark it.

I have to try harder not to think about it.

In April 2021 I attended an orthopaedic surgeon and showed them an MRI of my shoulder which showed my AC joint was inflamed. I had come armed with an internet search and a chat with a physio and I believed an AC excision would be the solution to my oppressed desire to wear my new Vice City Duncan Robinson top. When the surgeon diagnosed me with a labrum tear I believed them because I'm not an orthopaedic surgeon so I'm not going to argue. I mean, the lesson here is to advocate for your own health when you have doubts, but you're often going to need hindsight to nail that.

After a gruelling, highly motivated recovery from the surgery (I really wanted to wear that top, hit a corner three on some suburban hoop, and like high five some buddies right after, and feel alive) I still had the same discomfort and limitations and after paying for a whole bunch of extra physio I was sent for a second MRI which showed that my labrum repair was looking super good, oh and my AC joint was even more inflamed than the images taken in 2021. Hmm. Somehow I had torn it since the surgery? Hmmm. Or both injuries had happened at the same time back in 2020 when I hurt it. Hmmmmm.

I declined to have any follow up surgery, as Omicron was making life a problem for Adelaide at the time and I was only just recovering my sick leave from the last surgery. My plan was to stop lifting weights and just enjoy life with pain by riding my bike and going bushwalking.

These all sounded like good ideas but I wish that my surgeon had advocated for my health and encouraged me to have surgery, instead of happily letting me walk away to be my own problem instead of his. If I'd been in a sling in February it would have been a lot harder for me to crash my bike and break my elbow and wrist. Now that those injuries are healing my shoulder pain is returning.

If there is some advice I will share with anyone in their mid to late thirties who is suffering from shoulder pain - which was the intent of the shoulder recovery series to begin with - it is this. Don't stop resistance training, no matter how bad your knee and shoulder or anything else is feeling. At least at the time of my last MRI I could pick up a barbell off the ground, hang from a bar, twist side to side. The loss of the limited power, flexibility and core strength that has occurred since I spat the dummy about health and fitness only four months ago has really cost me now that I've realised I'm going to need it back if I want to make it to that hospital bed in my late forties.

Photogenic

Sit there, face my knees to the left, look at the camera, lift my head a little higher and to the right. Click.

One more? Perhaps the last one wasn't very good. Smile a bit more, keep eyes open. Click.

Another one? Eyes wider? Smile broader? Click.

Maybe they just like taking a whole set for some variety? This time perhaps a cooler, more relaxed expression. Burning eyes, like a male model. Click.

A fifth? Sure. This time ultra relaxed, confident. Feel sharp. Look sharp. Click.

Reviewing the identical series of photos. Man, I was consistent.

A Cheesy Kind of Unkindness Kindness

There wasn't a lot of sunshine today. What little remained when I finished working I enjoyed by walking directly at it for a few kilometres, letting it warm my face and light up the trees and leaves around me. Around the midway point I saw a raven trying to get at some rubbish that was on the nature strip outside a house. I was listening to a podcast about parenting at the time. Not an actual parenting podcast, more like a psychological assessment of parents' approaches to parenting and how (or if) it has any influence on the resulting adults. This was of interest to me because I'm 37 and the babies of today will be the experienced nurses and manual handlers of my aging, crumbling body, and also social psychology is interesting.

X


So anyway I was feeling paternal about this trash eating raven and I approached it to see what it was trying to peck. Someone had thrown a full tub of cream cheese into the gutter and the plastic lid was sealed. The raven scarpered when I arrived and landed on the opposite side of the street to watch. I opened the lid and left the cream cheese for it to eat and maybe share with its babies after I had set off into the sunset. Ravens are smart birds. They remember when you help them. The way my body is aging and crumbling I might need their help too. Hopefully not with opening cream cheese containers.

Pumpkins and Mushrooms

One vote for dogs who look like their owners.

X

The pumpkins and mushrooms strategy was not very effective in Quacks of Quedlinburg.

X