No Update: In Melbourne.


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No Update: In Melbourne.

No Update: In Melbourne.

No Update: I... uh, In Melbourne.


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I finished my Comm Skillz assignment today. Haven't done much on the Comp Org one, which is also due Friday... It just seems so wrong to do work with it's such a warm night. Mmmm, pleasant and balmy.
I got two pieces of mail yesterday. I hate mail. I got a personalised, formal invitation from Blackwood High inviting me to the opening of the visual arts centre in a few weeks. It has my name printed on it. I've asked a large amount of people who went to BHS with me, and in the years before me, and none of them received invites. Why me? I need to know why I was the only one who was invited. I hate mail.

I'm ok, but can't think of anything to say.
Well, good night.

Whatup?
As you would know the journal, combined with the two images it has imbedded in it, is now over 300kbs. So today I spent some time learning perl. It seems pretty ok. I can see my summer journal being a lot more effecient. It will also probably have a ”Sportie.com.au” logo. That's an IT Applications 2 inside joke there.

Why is it that everyone that I know feels the need to tell me their boring stories?

I've noticed that my journal seems to detail nothing but the pissy events of my life. Especially lately. When I first began the journalling back in November 2001 I created it as a weapon of mass adventure sharing. Now I talk about piss all. And the best part is that when something big or exciting does happen, I write ”No Update”.
I was seriously considering becoming a cop today. I thought you had to become a street cop and then after a while you got to choose super cop skills/abilities and I could become IT Cop. I've been considering this for months now. Basically my idea was I could possibly redesign the police website whilst never getting a speeding ticket again. Now I realise that I can't, unless I become a federal police officer.

What will be a busy weekend got off to a start today with summer clothes shopping + ANGUS ANGUS ANGUS' BBQ.
Today in Baleti Sports Ginuwine ”Ride my pony” was on the sound system and some woman with three kids was bounce-dancing to it as she waited to be served and singing the words to the baby in her arms.
If you're horny lets do it
Ride it my pony
My saddle's waiting
Come and jump on it
If you're horny lets do it
Ride it my pony
My saddles waiting
Come and jump on it

Also discussed today, Adam's wealthy advantage in oral sex. That is one huge nose.

Yay.
Today we won basketball and my own points doubled the other teams score. We won 44 to 7. Then I came home and then went into town and saw Kid Kenobi at Traffic for $20. It was fucking worth it. Seriously, if Kid Kenobi wanted me to massage his balls I would do it right now, possibly because I can't hear very well and it's possible I misheard him. I danced for two hours. While $20 entry was expensive, $3 pints/vodka-mix at the wakefield and $2 Archers at Traffic were enough to make up for it. I've never drunk archers before tonight, but I had six of them, my god, so cheap and so vodka + softdrink. Woo! Tonight was great. I danced, as I said. Great, great great. Also I saw Craig's dad at Pizza Hut. Hahaha Cowan is dumb.
Peace.

Furthermore,
It's no secret that I have many social hangups, including Paruresis or 'pee-shy'. I have a reasonably mild case, so the internet tells me, because I can use public restrooms most of the time. However there are times when I go to use the urinal and there's already someone there, or I'm at home and I know someone's standing just outside the door or window, when I just can't make the magic happen. I'm mentally aware that it's ridiculous to have these feelings, and usually it's a matter of just closing my eyes and waiting a little. This usually ends up in the trickle-effect, where there's just a small leak, which then smashes against the water in the bowl causing what seems like a huge noise, which then just makes the bladder even more bashful and bam, back to where we started. The trickle cycle is definitely something to avoid.
I am going somewhere with this, be assured. Just in the course of the last few days I've discovered the cure. At the first sign of UTI (Urinary Tract Immobilisation) I just start singing in my head a classic rap song. Being forced to think of the next line relaxes the bladder and away we go. This weekend I've used Wyclef Jean feat. The Rock's 'It doesn't Matter' and House of Pain's 'Jump Around'. The best part is that it worked. Hopefully it will also work for my poo-shy too, although that's a condition I struggle with less frequently yet more deeply than pee shy.
And me having this kind of disorder shouldn't suprise you, coming from a man who is more than a little wigged out by his own semen.
More important matters and designing a website with perl is hard, especially when you A) haven't really read the assignment requirements, B) know perl and mainly C) When you can't decide on what background colour to use. This cripping disability is the reason that my room is tidy again today. I've found a solution though, I think I'll just use the background image from this site.

This journal has gone on or a pretty long time.
When I download random files from the internet, or install random things, or do random things, or am working on stuff, I usually just stick the files on my desktop. This works well, and I just delete the files when I'm done with them, or move them to somewhere appropriate.
I got really lazy in deleting the files that were on my desktop for a few weeks, and it got really cluttered.
Since getting back from Melbourne, up until last Sunday, my room was really messy and cluttered.
I can't remember which happened first, but by Sunday evening my room was tidy and my desktop was uncluttered.
Since then my room has got slightly messy again... and my desktop is getting slightly cluttered...

In unrelated news, I like the English language, especially how it's so ambigous sometimes. It makes life very funny. For example, the fact that the slang term 'wanna' can mean 'Want a' or 'want to' is cool. It means that when you're at work and a packet of dried fruit breaks open right when the new checkout chick comes down the aisle you can say ”wanna date?” and it will be smile-time when you offer her the packet.
The English language is also great in the way that you can spend an hour writing a 150 word introduction to an IT Apps assignment and then spend five minutes writing a 200 word journal entry.
Edit: 250.

It was a nice, warm night tonight so I decided to walk to work and back. Now it's 3am and I thought I heard rain. I paused the music (Zinc's most recent album: Faster) and my ears were greeted by the steady sound of water hitting the iron roof above me. I love rain. I swear, upon hearing it it's like my brain had a little mental orgasm. I didn't realise it until it was released, but my brain was feeling tight and taxed. Stupid assignments. I swear this was a profound moment for me and I'm not just procrastinating.

No update today because NOTHING HAPPENED.
Except I watched Dawn of the Dead which was pretty cool and it's also the two year anniversary of crashing my mother's car.

My Jesus, $1 Vodka's for an hour is a fucking trap. I was trapped. I'm way drunker than I should be and I think I saw Kai on the dance floor.
Fudge.
Ice T.
We won basketball today, I was reasonably succesful. Sam drove into the Marion car park like he was doing a layup. Too fast... and in the wrong direction...
Then we went to Subway then we went to Gus'.
Anyway I left Gus' and realised that I was far too drunk and I wanted to do something. Then, as luck would have it, I found a dog.
I looked at its tag, found out its name and realised it lived far away. So I went home, got my discman and looked up where it lived. Then I took it there, but no one was home. So I called the phone number on Benny's tag and they said they were almost home so they got home and I gave them the dog and then they drove me home.
I rescued a dog. Hurrah.

Slow news day. Only amusing thing to result was [url=INTERNAL-LINK..\images\dontswallow.jpg]this.[/url]
10c there for scale.
Oh, also today I deleted 10gig of Trance MP3s. Anyone who read my Wintry Journal last year will know why this is a notable event. Sunrise, Sunset.

It was a Monday today yet for some crazy reason I went to uni and then went down the hill to the plaza for the first time since about August. It was confusing and scary. After that, to Marion, where I bought a 6-pack of Bintang. Then after work I was supposed to do stuff on my IT Apps assignment but instead just screwed around with using my tv as a second monitor.

I don't know why but I really didn't want to go to work tonight. I was vehemently against it. I don't know why, perhaps it's because I wanted to watch the cricket, or because I'm lazy and I hate work, but I approached it with a sense of foreboding.
First thing that happens when I get there is that I can't find a manager anywhere. I walk in at 6:00, notice the balepress is making a funny noise, finger scan on and after not finding a manager I say ”hey fuck it, screw doing the extra stuff they make me do, I'll just face up like how this shift used to work and hopefully just chill out.”
Unfortunately by 6:10 neither of my shift buddies have arrived, and I decide it may be in my best interests to find out what's going down. So I go to the service desk and ask who's in charge. Apparently the highest ranking employee there is the checkout manager. Great, so it looks like I'm responsible for the whole freaking store.
She feeds me the list of what I'm supposed to do, drinks, ends, half a dozen flat tops to fill, bring in the bales and bin lifter and then face up the whole story. I kinda just laughed, no one would've been able to do that alone in fifteen hours, let alone the three my shift was scheduled for. I enquired about my two comrades and apparently one had been in a car accident and wasn't coming in and the other had been unrostered and was now being desperately contacted because Woolworths are idiots.
So I smile bemusedly and head to the drinks to find out what needs to be topped up. Within two minutes I've been called to the front desk twice to help customers. I get called a third time to go to the service deli, an interesting request, so off I trundle.
I arrive there at 6:15. I can still hear the bale press making noise. The checkout manager points towards the back dock and says ”can you check that out?”. I walk through the plastic doors into the back dock and instantly smell rubber smoke and notice the entire back dock is enveloped in a black cloud. So I walk up to the bale press, press the automatic shut down and then grab a flat-top from next to it and start stacking it with drinks. The woman comes in a few minutes later and I what was going on. I tell her the bale press caught fire and we probably shouldn't use it. I open the back dock door to let the smoke out and I bring in the soggy bales. Pete rocked up around 7pm. Not much happened after that except a pidgeon got in the back dock somehow and then got lost somewhere up near the rollerdoor gizmos.
There's so much Christmas stuff at work too. It's garish. It's been there for a few weeks now, since the start of october. I think Woolworths have been turning up the heater even on those sunny days we've been having because they want people to think it's really hot because they'll associate summer with christmas. The only thing they've got left is to just hire some huge dude to stand at the store entrance and just yell ”IT's CHRISTMAS! IT'S CHRISTMAS! IT'S FUCKING CHRISTMAS! HEY LITTLE GIRL... IT'S FUCKING CHRISTMAS! BUY SOME FUCKING SHORTBREAD!”.
I'm not sure if it will happen, I wouldn't put it past Woolworths, especially considering they've said they're rostering me on for extra shifts for Christmas.
No doubt all the nightfillers will be given a christmas goody bag full of shortbread that doesn't sell on Christmas Eve. I swear there's enough shortbread in that store to do something amusing and large. Gimme a break, it's 4am and I've been doing IT Apps homework since I got home.

Today's trip to uni bore two interesting occurances:
First off, during the SP Tute a zombie walked in. Now I watched Dawn of the Dead recently like I mentioned and, no kidding, this guy looked so much like one of those zombies. There was a single, gut wrenching moment when I just thought ”my god, it's an actual zombie... I'm going to die.” I realised he wasn't actually a zombie pretty quickly, about a short time after he started talking to Tiff about handing in some SP homework but, wow, it was scary.
Secondly while driving down I was having one of those deep, contemplative moments that I pretend to have. I was thinking about life, how it was going and what direction it was taking me. I just couldn't work out what I wanted to do with my life. What if I made the wrong life choice and ending up regretting it until I died? What on earth was I to do? As I was thinking this, sitting at the red light, I thought ”why can't I just be given a sign!”
At that very moment, as if intervened by car park god himself, the right turn arrow turned green and my windscreen was suddenly filled with a huge advertisement on the side of a bus. ”The Army is recruiting, Join up today! Whatever your walk is.”
Staring at it for a moment I realised it was the sign I was looking for and now I knew what I wanted to do with my life. Loudly I proclaimed it to myself: ”I'm going to become a bus driver!”
I worked for five hours tonight, and then busted home and spent another four working on my IT Apps assignment some more. I've all but finished the prototype though and I think it's looking and functionally is quite swell. I'm actually enjoying making it. In fact, if it weren't for the looming deadline of this assignment as well as the stress of all the other ones due soon I would have to say I'd want to keep on spending time doing web design, or at least telling other people how to do web design.
And yeah, it is a coincidence that I discovered what I enjoy in IT the same day as I thought up a joke about life directions.

I have a pink toothbrush. I'm going to go use it now so I can go to bed after a long day.

No Update: It's a Satu...
Wait a second, no it's not. You see Sam, this is why I hate you.

Today a hangover made the following things entertaining:

  • Basketball
  • Driving Steve home from Burrett's house after basketball
  • Halloween Party at Josh's ex-girlfriend's house

Being hungover makes me cynical and extroverted. An awesome combination. I'd actually say that I enjoy being hungover if it wasn't for the deep, throbbing pain that my stomach and associated organs generate when I'm not sitting still.

Woo hey hey, it's Halloween. To celebrate apathy here are some amsuing quotes from this weekend in no order at all:


  • ”I'm actually of the opinion that kissing is an unnecessary form of foreplay”
  • ”Come on guys, we're losing to a bunch of hobbits!”
  • ”You're crushing me!”
  • ”Everyone trims their pubes. It's like a haircut... for your penis.”
  • ”There is glitter in my stubble”
  • ”What the hell, why did I bring my discman here? What the hell, why am I talking to myself. I think the neighbours are listening to me... Why the hell am I still talking to myself?”
  • ”That's the worst thing about costume parties in Adelaide, you meet someone and you tell a really good ice-breaking story and then a few minutes later when you're both adjusting your costumes you realise you already knew each other.”
  • ”Every night I'm drinking is like daylight savings night for me, because I lose an hour.”

The funniest one is number 3. High-ho context, away!