An Easier Life
Finally, after years, the humans have started acting nicely towards me.
They don't make loud noises so much when I bark, or if I fart when they're eating.
I have even trained them to bring me toys to play with. They are very obedient and loving.
It has taken extreme patience on my behalf, but finally they are kind to me and pay me a lot of attention.
They love me so much they even sit quietly on my couch with me when I'm sleepy.
I think the fact that I'm so polite and friendly towards them has helped improve their behaviour. I can't think of any other explanation as to why they've become so lenient and attentive lately.
I mean what other reason would there be for them to treat me so nicely now?
Because they're going to surgically remove my uterus and ovaries tomorrow?
Why would they even do that?
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The woman with the fake tan stepped into my office, sat across from my desk and lit a cigarette.
At least, she would, sometime in the next 20 minutes. Smelling the future has advantages, but precision isn’t one of them.