Adelaide

Perth has Sizzler. Sizzler is awesome. God himself would dine there every night if it wasn't for the extreme expensiveness of the standard $16.95 salad bar being $16.95 plus extra for a drink. But, as an occasional treat for God or myself it is exceptionally awesome.

Adelaide no longer has Sizzler. Adelaide no longer has the complimentary serve of cheese and herb toast that, after you excitedly explain to the manager that you have driven 36 hours across the Nullarbor for the sole purpose of eating cheese and herb toast (casually mentioning a wedding in the process) they will elect to supply you with unlimited cheese and herb toast and you will be like “oh god this is so good maybe I should just ask for the recipe”.

However, the value of coke in Perth is a lot higher than in Adelaide and also is quite unstable. On Friday the price of a medium coke at Subway was $2.25, by Monday it had skyrocketed to $2.30. If it weren't for the fact that I was ripping of Subway with re-used Sub-Club cards I would feel quite mournful in regards to my lost 55c.

In Perth a bus ticket can be of two varieties, zone 1 or zone 2. Essentially if you're not going to be on the bus for many stops, it's cheaper. In Adelaide once you're on the bus it is the same price for however far you can try to get in 2 hours. This is not made clear, so when you request 'One student ticket please' and the driver says 'which one?', it's confusing, especially when expanding to 'university student' and 'single-trip' along with ', I'm from Adelaide' prompt for only the same request. Eventually he said 'Where are you going?' and I told him the street name. He gave me the stink-eye as well as my ticket and said 'I'm not a taxi-driver you know'.

In Adelaide, all you have to do is get in a Taxi and say 'Student ticket please' and they take you where you need to go.

Perth has a lot of hot chicks and a lot of fat people.

Adelaide has a lot of hot chicks and a lot of fat people, but they are all less tanned.

Perth doesn't have an urban growth boundary. They also have the name of the road you are intersecting with visible when you come up the stem of each T-intersection. This is very helpful!

In Adelaide, street signs are optional and when you don't know when you're going it's only the laws of probability and chance applied within a limited geography that ensure you'll eventually get to your destination. If you really get stuck just jump into a taxi and ask the driver for a ticket.

In Perth, you should marry whoever you started dating while you are a teenager and the only purpose of dating is to get married.

In Adelaide it is not so insanely Christian, despite it being the city of churches. The churches are mainly there as landmarks for navigation due to the absence of street signs.

Perth doesn’t have daylight savings, and because it is already out in the middle of nowhere the time difference is two and a half hours from Adelaide.

Adelaide is on the edge of nowhere and because your Dad decides to drive 36 hours straight (no pun intended) to get to the middle of nowhere during which you get less than 3 hours sleep which occurs sitting up and with all the associated jolting and drooling on yourself that ‘micro-sleeps’ entail, you will be so fingered after getting to Perth (and then immediately stuffing yourself at Sizzler) that you will find it difficult to stay awake past 11pm every night and, as a result, rise at around 9am and by the end of the week after you fly back you’ll realise you are still on Adelaide time anyway.