Men's Brad

Sometimes when I'm day-dreaming I think about my unpublished, undrafted men's magazine. It's called "Brad's Health" and it's like Men's Health but basically only for INTJ types. I think it corrects most of the flaws inherit in all of today's existing men's lifestyle magazines. It's more focussed on having everything in your life balanced, rather than trying to knock each aspect of it out the park. It would have a cover-story headline like:

Ascend the Corporate Ladder! Build your own House from Scratch! White-Water Raft the World! Perfect Family! Bench Press your Face Off!... Pick One. Or learn to compromise.

I think it would sell OK, or at least be read by many people who never pay for a subscription. Not only because of its life changing essays like the one above, but obviously for all the handy tips and pseudo-scientific facts it would come loaded with. And seeing as my journal is as close as I'll probably come to owning my own lifestyle magazine, I think I might share some handy Brad's Health tips on it. Like one I came up with today:

It's almost Summer, this is the time you should be cleaning your fans! I spent a quarter of an hour wiping the ceiling fan in my bedroom tonight, rubbing a damp towel over the wood and the brass supports until it was spotless. Why am I so excited? This is going to be the first summer in my entire adult life where I'm going to think to myself "It's warm tonight", flick the switch on a fan that hasn't revolved once all Winter and be sprayed with a barrage of dust. And, unless you are the type who dusts your fans regularly all Summer you're now going to have to go clean your fan because, if you forget, then one night in a week or so you're going to be sneezing and screaming "BRADISM DOT COM!!!!" and shaking your fist at the moon. (And if you are the type who dusts your fan regularly all the way through winter then what are you doing reading INTJ Literature?)

While I'm on the subject of genius, I'm surely not the first person to discover this but no one has ever shared the secret with me. If you work in an office that gives you the choice of paper towel and a hand dryer in your bathroom, next time try using both simultaneously! Its combination of effectiveness and decadence that might be just the pick-me-up you need, now that it looks too sunny outside to escape with a cup-a-soup at three o'clock.


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