My New Years Resolution

Is to make this optimistic, fresh new year feeling where I can achieve so many goals if I work hard enough last until at least mid March.

It's also to learn to play the piano. It was going to be to learn mandarin but I might save that one for Chinese New Year instead.


If you like Bradism, you'll probably enjoy my stories. It's my dream to be a famous author, and you can help support me by previewing one of my books from Amazon below, and purchasing it if you like it.

If you met yourself from the future, what would you ask your future self?
What if they wont tell you anything?


Must Remember...

Cough Cough, Snot Snot... Best Year Ever!

2008 My Best Year Ever - Hot New Desk

Today, finally, after months of corporate dicking around my new desk was deemed fully operational. It's a lot like my old desk, except they've added a motor and levers so that the desk can go up to about five feet high. What this means is that I can raise it to three feet and sit typing blissfully at a desk I actually fit under!

For everyone small enough to fit under normal desks, you are right now taking for granted how blissful it is to be able to sit at a desk without your knees being pressed into its base. A 2008 of ergonomic success looms! The ribbon cutting is tomorrow.


Enjoy what you've read? Want to receive updates and publishing news in your inbox? Sign up to the bradism mailing list. You'll also receive an ebook, free!


Top Tracks of 2007 - Part 1 of 3

2007 was an excellent year for music, producing plenty of great albums and an even higher number of awesome tracks. Here I've collated 50 top tracks from the year. They may not be the best because I am but one man and I can't listen to everything. But it is a list bristling with quality and most importantly enjoyable music.

This feature I will be dividing the list into three parts over the next three days. Each third of the list will work independently as a single CD mix tape. So each day you can download the songs and check them out. The first CD worth of tracks can be downloaded here. Please enjoy the list and let me know what you think.


50. Timbaland feat. Nelly Furtado & Justin Timberlake

Give it to Me

Timbaland was definitely running shit in 2006 and Give it to Me started 2007 gracefully for a man who lives perched on a keyboard-surrounded throne. Nelly Furtado starts things off; delivering a kung fu introduction as yet another head bopping, banana-eatable Timbaland beat grows. With JT and Furtado as his royal guard Timbaland thrives and this is certainly dancefloor bait. However like most of his efforts during the year with 50 Cent, Duran Duran and his solo album, the inspiration seems a little lacking and he did not reach the dizzy heights of 2006, nor higher than opening spot on this list.


Continue Reading Top 50 Tracks of 2007...

Top Tracks of 2007 - Part 2 of 3

Today was a fine, cloudless day of beach games and more good music.

We're into the meat of this year's top songs now. All of these can be sampled here.


35. Studio

Origin (Shake You Down by the River)

Origin is my favourite track from Studio’s album Yearbook 1. The whole LP is full of long, building pieces of electronic music, mostly constructed by layers and layers of looping beats. The tracks are long and minimalistic, but Origin stands out in particular as it takes a warmer and more upbeat tempo than the others. There is a Wild West sounding feel to the riff that flows throughout the piece and the whole thing just feels like something you could listen to crossing the desert by horse along a railway line.


Continue Reading Top 50 Tracks of 2007 part 2...

Gotta Stop Living in the Past

Dessert, the sweetest tracks of the year can be sampled here.


17. Justice

The Party

When Justice released their first LP in 2007 The Party wasn’t instantly the most popular track. As far as electro goes there wasn’t the screaming energy of Phantom nor the over the top happiness of D.A.N.C.E. or the pounding bass of Stress. But with time The Party emerged as the most definitive example of contemporary electro. The bass line was amped up and the distorted beat bounced as a showcase of the sound. Then there was fun, the cheekiness of Uffie’s voice representing the whole tongue in cheek genre. And finally, overwhelming French snobbery. Now that’s electro.



Continue Reading Top Tracks of 2007 - Part 3 of 3...

My New Favourite Thing about the Human Body

You can do a chin up with an overhand grip on one side and an underhand grip on the other. Fuck symmetry!

You're Rocking Out Too Hard

Not being able to squat down on my right knee or start running without things like pain were - after three weeks - finally motivation for me to see my physio today. And so by 1:15pm this afternoon I was on my back being routinely jolted with pulses of electricity in an experiment that was theoretically supposed to help ease the fluid from my knee and return me to my normal athletic, shirtless, kitten saving self.
Now I love my physio. Not in a gay way kind of love where I nervously watch him from afar and send him flowers anonymously every week. But more a kind of worship that most religious proselytes could empathise with. After all he has regularly demonstrated miraculous healing powers. And although core human behaviour has evolved since the Middle Ages there's still an overwhelming desire to apply divinity to those who exhibit healing ability. So I love him like a God. Although according to Christian philosophy which is this country's official religion God is love which serves to raise metaphorically fuddling paradoxes that surely go beyond the curriculum of short-to-medium journal entries or the small talk we shared as my knee was tweaked and twiddled.
Yet it was during this small talk about, appropriately, small ligaments that I brought up my shoulder. Observe that since the three weeks of no gym that I got as an unwanted, nonrefundable Christmas gift I now experience sharp pain in my left shoulder after doing, of all things, tricep push downs. This is somewhat ironic given that the shoulder doesn't really get worked in a tricep pushdown although it does exist as a stabliser.
So this wasn't some sort of metaphysical demon work that needed divine intervention.
But fortunately due to paradox the God I was praying to also had the very human skill of (no pun intended) biomedicine. Following a short demonstration of my tricep pushdown technique he deduced it was either because I wasn't accustomed to the exercise or I was using too heavy a weight. I knew neither could be true because this was an exercise I'd done regularly for years and the weight I was using was less than it was before Christmas because January gym returns are a good excuse to be lazy.
The only diagnosis was that it had to be a posture problem, but what would cause my posture to change in the three weeks since 2007?
Disturbed and confused I returned home to ponder and, as often is the case during recent introspective moments I turned on Wii to see if I could 4 star Knights of Cydonia on hard. And as I slipped on the guitar strap and began frantically mashing buttons I felt a similar tightness in my shoulder.
'No shit,' I thought. 'I have a Guitar Hero injury.'

Google Search Strings that I think sum up my website

I was browsing the server stats today and I noticed in the past few months the following search strings have landed new visitors to my website. I'll share a few of them with you. It's like a showcase of the last few years of my life:

is bradism a religion?
how to face up fast supermarket nightfill
how to sculp rice krispies treats
drunk on houseboat
hot girl poo
angus wallpapers
pepsi max cans special
is darren lehman married
inflate your chest
18 inch schnitzel
freecell runs
vk commodore indicator stalk
recipes with weetbix
mens linen pants
dj naughty adelaide
using regular peanut butter in smoothies it that healthy?
spa balls between my legs
interesting immature things

About a third of my search engines hits come from sneaky perverts hoping for private crotch shots by searching for open directories with files containing the name *panties*. When I first created this site many years ago I happened to upload this image:

http://bradism.com/images/panties.JPG

Sorry, perverts..

2008 My Best Year Ever - Hole in Ones

We returned to Adelaide Shores Mini Golf today. And I hit a hole-in-one. No one else did during the whole course, and I have the fucking certificate to prove it. The fact that I got a hole in one kinda makes my score of 73 over 18 holes seem even worse though...

2008 could learn a lot from mini golf today. Although at times holes seem tough or challenging, just by adopting a less serious attitude and employing a little bit of creativity (like involving the Z-axis) you can still have fun.

The strongest, straightest drive I've ever done with a golf ball was performed today with a putter.

Bullshit

I was in the kitchen of my family's 1980s built, double-brick Australian home today and I noticed something that irked me. By the dining table, on the cabinet that until a fortnight ago had been adorned with standing Christmas Cards from friends and family the returning empty space had been seeded with a single greeting card. It was a Happy Australia Day greeting card.

Now this immediately turned me irate because Australia Day is one of the only untouched, commercial-less day of significance on the calendar. The fact that its celebration is so casual is a testament to the very country, continent and culture it represents. The only items that need advertising prior to the 26th of January are beer and meat. No greeting card company should be lining its pockets with our flamboyant jingoism.

That was what passed through my mind as I stalked the card, picked it up from the varnished wood and leered inside. I was determined to identify which pom, yank or misguided caregiver that had felt the need to defy such seemingly obvious custom. On the inside was a printed message consisting of the lyrics to our national anthem and a graphic of the Southern Cross. Above that was the website for the real estate agent L.J. Hooker and it was signed off with a note that free value appraisals for properties could be organised by contacting the local branch.

And at that stage I didn't know who to be more disappointed in, the real estate company trying to drum up revenue by abusing a national holiday, or whichever one of my parentals felt the urge to put spam on our greeting card shelf.

Pretty Aussie

Setting Citrus Alarm Clock to wake me up with Men at Work's Land Down Under on a three minute fade in was an awesome idea.

The complete buy out of Farmer's Union Ice Coffee from one of the largest Woolworths in the state before lunchtime was also one of the most Australian things I've ever seen.

The complete buy out of Farmer's Union Ice Coffee from one of the largest Woolworths in the state before lunchtime was also one of the most Australian things I've ever seen.

Best New Music - January 2008

Writing was done today!

2007 was a bumper crop for music with great music being produced under every genre and style. But the past is the past, and 2008 is already showing plenty of promise in terms of new music and much anticipated releases. After dividing my Top Tracks of 2007 list into three handy, CD sized mix tapes I felt that it was an enjoyable enough exercise to try regularly. So every month I’ll be posting a new collection of songs to burn to CD that cover what I’m digging in new music.
January is, of course, the hardest one to begin with. So I’m pleased to get this one out the way. Not a lot gets released this early in the year, probably for fear of being forgotten by annual end of year lists. A lot of music also takes many listens to start to appreciate in its full glory. Yet there still have been stand outs this January, and also a couple of salivating teasers promoting forthcoming albums
You can read about the tracks below, and obtain the collection here.

Why?
The Hollows

From Alopecia due on 2008/03/11

This is the first single off the new Why? album Alopecia due next month. Why? is a curious combination of your standard indie rock band fronted by Yoni Wolf (from cLOUDDEAD) who drops sing-songy raps over over the backing music. It's very similar to the cLOUDDEAD and Subtle flow and style of graphical, streaming rhymes. Using a band for beats certainly is creative and proves to be effective. The strumming bass throughout The Hollows dominates and it's a very dark and shadowy song with creepy pianos playing their part as well.

The Mountain Goats
Sax Rohmer #1

From Heretic Pride due on 2008/02/19

John Darnielle has been evolving The Mountain Goats over the past few albums from a simple, acoustic sound onto a grander scale. The new album Heretic Pride certainly sheds the intimacy of earlier works but pulls off its transition into bigger sound well. Although if you’re predicting a funkier change fear not, Sax Rohmer #1 is named after the author of the Fu Manchu novels so you won't be hearing any horn section on this song.
The extra production that has gone into the song and album pay off in my opinion, and there is a whole brown, Autumnn theme that builds which is quite fitting for the upcoming season.

Justus Köhncke
Feuerland

From Safe and Sound available on Kompakt

The Köhncke back catalouge of techno and house music includes a lot of happy, uplifting pop tunes. But he has abandoned the disco synths and bubbly keyboards for Feuerland - a remake of the original by Michael Rother (formerly of Kraftwerk) from 1977. The result is a darker, swirling track that rumbles along for the first few minutes before launching into extra-terrestrial sounding horns piercing the atmosphere and splitting the encompassing bass. Even producing from a different angle it still sounds tight as usual. Justus' album Safe and Sound is available now.

Hot Chip
Don't Dance

From Made in the Dark due on 2008/02/05

We transition from atmospheric techno to poppier dance now. The new Hot Chip album is shaping to be one of the albums of the year because it's packed with funky, uplifting dancefloor tunes. The track Don't Dance starts with a dare, the words "Don't Dance" being taunted over a steady, marching drum hook. Then there's a bit of singing about freedom and the drums, predictably but enjoyably, break free of drudgy steadines and burst into a cacophony of energy. Organs, synths and zaps all jam together and, well, you dance.

The Magnetic Fields
Too Drunk to Dream

From Distortion available on Nonesuch

The title of the new Magnetic Fields album is Distortion and, if you haven't heard it by now, it's not a misnomer. It's a gimmick, proposed by Stephin Merritt who after years of writing catchy pop songs covering many genres and styles decided he wanted to tribute the low-fi Jesus and Mary Chain sound of the early 90's. Therefore all the tracks are underproduced, with feedback and, of course, distortion which creates a simpler sound to enjoy. Too Drunk to Dream is a catchy and funny three minute ballad about escaping an ex-boyfriend through alcoholism and starts with off with some amusing couplets about intoxication that ring very true and should bring a smile to your face.

British Sea Power
Waving Flags

From Do You Like Rock Music? available on Rough Trade

British Sea Power are a British band, not to be confused with British India who are not a British band, but a band from Australia (which was colonised by the British). With that cleared up I can tell you that British Sea Power are an epic rock, "big sound" live band not unlike the Cure, the Editors or U2. Keeping on the alcohol theme as well, Waving Flags is kind of a light hearted look at immigration in the UK but instead of getting deep into the issues it's more a tale of how we all like beer, and just because we like different kinds of beer, doesn't mean we can't get along. Not that you would guess at this fluff when you hear the dramatic, pompous power chords and echoes of a choir in the background which gives everything a colosseum full of people atmosphere. The album Do you Like Rock Music is now out.

Cassettes Won't Listen
Large Radio

From Small Time Machine due on 2008/03/11

Cassettes Won't Listen is a one man project out of Brooklyn, New York. While relatively small at the moment, he has remixed some major Hip Hop acts like Aesop Rock, Dr. Octagon and Morcheeba which is surprising considering that his own work is more of a Postal Service-esque indie-rock with computers sound. Indeed, Large Radio (perhaps named ironically, off the LP Small Time Machine, released digitally in March) starts with a lazy drum machine and sweeping 16bit synths. Drake's voice is soothing for the most and it bounces about the liquid sounding melodies like echoes in a seaside cave, but they also soar and build into crashing waves in a loud but still very soothing way. Large Radio is a beautiful track really, and deserves to be checked out.

General Elektriks
Requiem for a Neo-Con (feat. Mr. Lif)

From Forthcoming Album...

Requiem for a Neo-Con comes from an alias of Hervé Salters, a French producer whose trademark is composing tracks using vintage keyboards and other past-era instruments. According to the internet, he believes older instruments come packed with more soul and there is definitely no lack of funk on this hook, or boogie in this bassline. Mr. Lif drops verses throughout in his greasy style and goes silent for the organ breaks and warbling keyboard solos at the appropriate times. No official release date has been announced for the album more specific than this year, but a second track (featuring Lateef the Truthspeaker) is available on the General Elektriks website, along with both tracks in uncompressed WAV format (for Stereos. Woop!)

Black Mountain
Queens Will Play

From In the Future available on Jagjaguwar

It's 2008, but the fuzzy rock sound of the 1970s is still being thrashed out by bands like Black Mountain who, notably, do a good job of it. Their album is called In The Future which is just another example of an ironic album title. It's full of jams that go hard; some more laid back builders and at least one 16 minute epic rock composition. Queens Will Play is the closest to a cross between all three. The guitars are modest from the beginning, strumming away as (who I assume is) Amber Webber provides female vocals to an accruing pressure. Harmonic church organs then start to sing in the background as the psychedelic guitars complete their warm up and launch into the last part of the track: heavy shredding, rock assault.

The Helio Sequence
Hallelujah

From Keep Your Eyes Ahead available on Sub Pop

From the Sub-Pop label (home of the Shins and Band of Horses) comes The Helio Sequence who play a similar brand of keyboard fused indie rock. Lead Singer Brandon Summers sounds comfortable singing on Hallelujah which is impressive as since the last album he suffered damage to his vocal chords preventing him from recording and performing. For his recovery program he started singing Bob Dylan songs until he got better. That influence appears to be lasting judging by the folky nature of Hallelujah’s lyrics on top of the hammering keyboards of former Modest Mouse performer, Brandon Summers. Their album is called Keep Your Eyes Ahead and is now available.

Lightspeed Champion
Tell Me What It's Worth

From Falling Off the Lavender Bridge available on Domino Records

Falling Off the Lavender Bridge is the first album from Lightspeed Champion, which is a production of Devonte Hynes, former Test Icicle. It's a pop song that clocks in at less than three minutes, starting with a dominant acoustic guitar that gets strummed from a short, quiet beginning into an all out guitar thrashing as part of an elongated, catchy chorus. More than just bubble pop though, this is one of those songs that sounds happier than it actually should be.

Harmonic 313
Word Problems

From EP1 EP available on Warp

I never knew who Mark Pritchard was, but he's been producing and remixing techy IDM over the years. Harmonic 313 is a new side project for him and under its guise he's now producing techy, break-filled IDM in a described Detroit Hip-Hop style. Not that there are any lyrics being spat on Word Problems by over-confident MCs. In fact, the only lines being dropped are from one of those late 90s Learn-To-Spell fake computer toys. And over the course of heavy, gristly basslines you will learn to spell Harmonic. Your reward will be even wobblier basslines and acidic layers being pumped from your speakers. Quite reminiscent of a Yoseph era Vibert, Word Problems comes from a solid little EP called, creatively and not ironically, EP1.

The Presets
My People (Kris Menace mix)

From My People EP available on Modular

Finally we have some local talent to close off this month’s mix. My People has been out since last year and is hopefully just a taste of Apocalypso which should be a banging album to be released this year. My People works with a simple, beefy synth hook and power chords throughout that continually lead to the opportunity to yell "I'm here with all of my People" which is particularly awesome when drinking. It truly is a party song, and the Kris Menace mix clubs it up a little further by buffing up the bassline expanding it out to almost six minutes of heavy, rocking electro. Furthermore, you can order a signed copy of Apcalypso from JB Hifi right now for only .99 ready for its April release date. The Presets are also currently playing shows around Australia including any of the Laneway Festivals in late Feb/Early March or even better for Adelaide locals, see them for free at the Adelaide Fringe opening night party (with Dappled Cities Fly and I Heart Hiroshima).