Bullshit

I was in the kitchen of my family's 1980s built, double-brick Australian home today and I noticed something that irked me. By the dining table, on the cabinet that until a fortnight ago had been adorned with standing Christmas Cards from friends and family the returning empty space had been seeded with a single greeting card. It was a Happy Australia Day greeting card.

Now this immediately turned me irate because Australia Day is one of the only untouched, commercial-less day of significance on the calendar. The fact that its celebration is so casual is a testament to the very country, continent and culture it represents. The only items that need advertising prior to the 26th of January are beer and meat. No greeting card company should be lining its pockets with our flamboyant jingoism.

That was what passed through my mind as I stalked the card, picked it up from the varnished wood and leered inside. I was determined to identify which pom, yank or misguided caregiver that had felt the need to defy such seemingly obvious custom. On the inside was a printed message consisting of the lyrics to our national anthem and a graphic of the Southern Cross. Above that was the website for the real estate agent L.J. Hooker and it was signed off with a note that free value appraisals for properties could be organised by contacting the local branch.

And at that stage I didn't know who to be more disappointed in, the real estate company trying to drum up revenue by abusing a national holiday, or whichever one of my parentals felt the urge to put spam on our greeting card shelf.