Mondale IV

Joe stepped out of the elevator and around the corner found Dale standing an uncertain guard of the eighth floor glass security door. Dale gave Joe a furtive glance, followed after a second of processing with a conservative smile of recognition.
'Still no door pass?' Joe asked him as the two met. In a well-practiced piece of choreography he smacked his pocketed wallet against the sensor and was rewarded with a friendly chime and the clunk of bolts untangling.
'Not yet,' said Dale.
'And no one would open the door for you?'
'You're the first person who's come along. I did see Miguel walk past inside, but I think he pretended not to see me. Then he walked back a minute later dragging my chair behind him.
'It's a bit of a Wild West up here sometimes,' said Joe as the two navigated between cubicles. 'I hope it hasn't put you off.'
'I'll be honest,' said Dale. 'You have been a great buddy. But in general the people here seem to be on a secret mission to abuse my graces.'
'How?' asked Joe.
'Well, I realise I had it good in town with our fridges. I mean, I kept parmesan cheese in that fridge for weeks between spaghettis. Here I am lucky if a thing of yogurt lasts until my morning tea. I spent twenty minutes trying to make a phone call one morning before I realised someone took the cable while I was away. And last week I set my meal to heat up for five minutes in the microwave, walked back to my desk to check on a build and came back to a sheepish looking Egyptian guy taking my lunch out with three minutes left on the clock.'
'Oh,' said Joe. 'That's not good at all.'

Joe looked like he was deep in thought.

'Did you try writing a passive-aggressive note and printing it off as big as possible to stick on your desk, the fridge and the microwave?' he asked.
'Funny,' said Dale. 'I called up the Floor Coordinator and that's exactly what she told me to do as well. I just.. I don't think that's the kind of thing I am able to do.'
'Don't stress,' said Joe. 'You go look for another chair and I am going to call the head of HR and find out if he can help you.'

Five minutes later Dale returned, wheeling a sad looking office chair behind him.
'Check your email' said Joe. 'The HR Manager says he will help you.'
Dale opened his inbox; near the top was an email from the head of HR. It had an attachment, and was titled "Employees Passive-Aggressive Note Template v1.4".

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