April Callbacks

If all you have is a double tapping the unlock button on my car's remote central locking, every brief patch of autumn sunshine looks like a summer's day.

If you're concerned about money, placing the base of spring onion in a glass of water by the windowsill and leaving it there for a couple of months will give you a couple cents worth of spring onion and a glass you have to throw in the trash because you can't scrub away the ingrained stink of onion.