The Rising Cos Of Living

There has been a lot of talk in the media these days about the extreme price of iceberg lettuce. I rarely eat iceberg lettuce, so this didn't bother me a lot. But now I kept seeing lettuces on social media and thinking if they are that expensive surely they must taste good?

Alas, nine dollars is far too much to spend on a single lettuce. Even if I did have a bunch of falafel, hummus, grape tomatoes, beans and corn all in the fridge needing something leafy to go with them. Nine dollars could buy a kilogram of chicken breast, or two-thirds of a craft beer on tap somewhere, or most of a terrible, plastic office chair, or 3.6% of a hospital admission gap. Or I could invest $9 in like 100, 123, 138, 144 penny stocks.

Then I thought back to Cyclone Yasi, and the price of bananas in 2011, and how I practically didn't eat a banana for eight months.

In hindsight, I could have bought one banana. It might have cost me about nine dollars (adjusted for inflation) for a hand. But I didn't. And you know what? I might still have that nine dollars in my bank account, and I don't recall fondly any of the non-bananas I ate in 2011.

Today I thought that I didn't want to be on my deathbed centuries from now thinking about 2022 and how I missed out on one of those delicious nine dollar lettuces just because the price was obscene and no matter how many house parties I hosted no one was going to leave behind a lettuce. So I bought a nine dollar iceberg. It was pretty tasty. There's a bit of my backyard where the sun comes down the side of the house at lunchtime and I sat in that slice of sunbeam with my eyes closed and I savoured each shredded morsel.

Fuck you 2022.


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