By Modern Standards

Today Nash celebrated her tenth birthday, which by modern standards sounds like an eccentric thing to say. But considering how hostile towards life the majority of the universe is, I feel proud to think that after the millions of years that it took to have multicellular organisms we now have a dog with more cells in a single, ejected tail hair than there are on most planets. And because of me and Vanessa, there's a dog that has by far lived her best life and brought a lot of joy to a lot of humans. The last decade would have been worse without her.

Does that justify her eating 5% of her body weight in chicken and cocktail pies for a day, while everybody wore party hats with her face on them?

Yes. Well earned, Nash.